SEX the best gift! Is it found in the Bible?

Preventing the sexual abuse of children; keeping our churches safe

SEX is the BEST! (Biblical research)

IT is the BEST because God created it! God created man and woman to enjoy sex and to have babies out of love. God intended sex as a way for a husband and a wife to experience joy in the union of their love for one another. They can express love and care physically, emotionally and spiritually in sex.

The Bible has a lot to say about sex. Sex is misunderstood as bad, dirty, and people react so guilty, ashamed, and ignorant and negative because of wrong ideas and wrong application.

Sex is biblical, let's see God's perspective and plans regarding sex to know what does the Bible say about SEX?

Sex is for procreation: Created before sin occurred. If Adam and Eve did not sin we multiplied with out sin.

Gen 1:27  So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.
Gen 1:28  And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.

Gen 2:24  Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

Sex is for Intimacy: Makes the husband and the wife more closer.

Son 1:13  A bundle of myrrh is my well beloved unto me; he shall lie all night betwixt my breasts.

Son 2:3  As the apple tree among the trees of the wood, so is my beloved among the sons. I sat down under his shadow with great delight, and his fruit was sweet to my taste.

Son 2:6  His left hand is under my head, and his right hand doth embrace me.

Son 4:5  Thy two breasts are like two young roes that are twins, which feed among the lilies.

Sex is for Companionship:
Son 3:1  By night on my bed I sought him whom my soul loveth: I sought him, but I found him not.

Sex is for Pleasure:

Son 1:2  Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for thy love is better than wine.

Pro 5:18  Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.
Pro 5:19  Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.

Son 7:1  How beautiful are thy feet with shoes, O prince's daughter! the joints of thy thighs are like jewels, the work of the hands of a cunning workman.
Son 7:2  Thy navel is like a round goblet, which wanteth not liquor: thy belly is like an heap of wheat set about with lilies.
Son 7:3  Thy two breasts are like two young roes that are twins.
Son 7:4  Thy neck is as a tower of ivory; thine eyes like the fishpools in Heshbon, by the gate of Bathrabbim: thy nose is as the tower of Lebanon which looketh toward Damascus.
Son 7:5  Thine head upon thee is like Carmel, and the hair of thine head like purple; the king is held in the galleries.
Son 7:6  How fair and how pleasant art thou, O love, for delights!
Son 7:7  This thy stature is like to a palm tree, and thy breasts to clusters of grapes.
Son 7:8  I said, I will go up to the palm tree, I will take hold of the boughs thereof: now also thy breasts shall be as clusters of the vine, and the smell of thy nose like apples;
Son 7:9  And the roof of thy mouth like the best wine for my beloved, that goeth down sweetly, causing the lips of those that are asleep to speak.
Son 7:10  I am my beloved's, and his desire is toward me.

Sex is not for immorality
1Co 6:13  "Food is meant for the stomach and the stomach for food"—and God will destroy both one and the other. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.
1Co 6:14  And God raised the Lord and will also raise us up by his power.
1Co 6:15  Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never!
1Co 6:16  Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, "The two will become one flesh."
1Co 6:17  But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him.
1Co 6:18  Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.
1Co 6:19  Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own,
1Co 6:20  for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.


Therefore, SEX is the BEST! but Premarital SEX is BAD?


                           
Sex is everywhere. You can hear it in every corner.You can read it in magazines, see it in TV shows, movies, advertisements. You can hear it in music, in stories, in jokes, in teasing, in any way the pressure is there. The world, with Satan's inspiration and with the our fleshly lust and cravings makes premarital sex seems okay because it feels good, but it's not! The Bible disagrees. The Bible is telling and teaching us that waiting adds thrill and makes it worth the while and more enjoyable and not cheap but honorable and satisfying.Control and waiting for the right moment after marriage makes it more enjoyable and we feel that delayed gratification after marriage pays and is worth the waiting!True love waits! It does not abuse the opportunity of trust, it does not abuse the moment of physical attraction to go beyond what is not appropriate, it is not self gratifying but protecting and respecting the person you love.

1Co 7:2  But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.
1Co 7:3  The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband.

Heb 13:4  Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.

1 Th 4:3  For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality;
1Th 4:4  that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor,

Sex outside of marriage is immoral.


Fornication-The incontinence or lewdness of unmarried persons, male or female; also, the criminal conversation of a married man with an unmarried woman.

Act 15:20  But that we write unto them, that they abstain from pollutions of idols, and from fornication, and from things strangled, and from blood.

1Co 5:1  It is reported commonly that there is fornication among you, and such fornication as is not so much as named among the Gentiles, that one should have his father's wife.

1Co 6:13  Meats for the belly, and the belly for meats: but God shall destroy both it and them. Now the body is not for fornication, but for the Lord; and the Lord for the body.

1Co 6:18  Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.

1Co 10:8  Neither let us commit fornication, as some of them committed, and fell in one day three and twenty thousand.

2Co 12:21  And lest, when I come again, my God will humble me among you, and that I shall bewail many which have sinned already, and have not repented of the uncleanness and fornication and lasciviousness which they have committed.

Gal 5:19  Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness,

Eph 5:3  But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints;

Col 3:5  Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry:

1Th 4:3  For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication:

Jud 1:7  Even as Sodom and Gomorrha, and the cities about them in like manner, giving themselves over to fornication, and going after strange flesh, are set forth for an example, suffering the vengeance of eternal fire.


Complete abstinence before marriage is being promoted in the Bible. Waiting for sex after marriage have practical benefits and is a blessing.

"While practicality does not determine right from wrong, if the Bible's message on sex before marriage were obeyed, there would be far fewer sexually transmitted diseases, far fewer abortions, far fewer unwed mothers and unwanted pregnancies, and far fewer children growing up without both parents in their lives. Abstinence is God’s only policy when it comes to sex before marriage. Abstinence saves lives, protects babies, gives sexual relations the proper value, and, most importantly, honors God."(sex before marriage)


1Th 5:22  Abstain from all appearance of evil.

 "What is an appropriate level of intimacy before marriage?"

Answer: Ephesians 5:3 tells us, “But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity...because these are improper for God's holy people.” Anything that even “hints” of sexual immorality is inappropriate for a Christian. The Bible does not give us a list of what qualifies as a “hint” or tell us what physical activities are approved for a couple to engage in before marriage. However, just because the Bible does not specifically address the issue does not mean God approves of “pre-sexual” activity before marriage. By essence, foreplay is designed to get one ready for sex. Logically then, foreplay should be restricted to married couples. Anything that can be considered foreplay should be avoided until marriage.

If there is any doubt whatsoever whether an activity is right for an unmarried couple, it should be avoided (Romans 14:23).

Any and all sexual and pre-sexual activity should be restricted to married couples. An unmarried couple should avoid any activity that tempts them toward sex, that gives the appearance of immorality, or that could be considered foreplay. Many pastors and Christian counselors strongly advise a couple to not go beyond holding hands, hugging, and light kissing before marriage. The more a married couple has to share exclusively between themselves, the more special and unique the sexual relationship in that marriage becomes.

(http://www.gotquestions.org/before-marriage)

10 HUMAN DECISIONS THAT DESTROYS THE DESIGN OF GOD in SEX
1) Incest
God strongly condemned sexual relations with a "close relative." Relatives listed include:Mother (Leviticus 18:7), Father's wife-stepmother (Lev. 18:8-under penalty of death, Lev. 20:11), Sister, half-sister, or stepsister (Lev. 18:9, 11-penalized by being cut off from the people, Lev. 20:17), Grandchild (Lev. 18:10), Aunt (Lev. 18:12, 13, 14-penalized by dying childless, Lev. 20:19), Daughter-in-law (Lev. 18:15), Sister-in-law (Lev. 18:16), Daughter or granddaughter of woman one had sex with (Lev. 18:17-penalized by death, Lev. 20:14).

2) Homosexuality
God strongly condemns sexual relations with a person of the same gender in the Old Testament (Lev. 18:22-penalized by death, Lev. 20:13). He condemns it just as strongly in the New Testament (Romans 1:24-28-penalized by spiritual death, Romans 1:27, 6:23)

3) Rape
The Old Testament law definitely favored the male. If a man raped a married or engaged woman, he was to be executed while the woman was held to be innocent and worthy of no punishment. If the woman could have summoned help but didn't, she was also to be executed (Deuteronomy. 22:23-27).

If a man raped a single, unengaged woman, he was not put to death. The penalty was to marry her with no possibility of divorce, ever. (Deut. 22:28-29)

4) Consensual sex with one other than your mate
If a man slept with a woman who consensually engaged in sex with him, his penalty was to marry her (if her father wished) with no possibility of divorce (Exodus 22:16-17).

The New Testament made it clear that God expected sex to take place only in the boundaries of marriage. (1 Corinthians 7:2-5) Anyone guilty of sexual sin-called fornication in some versions and sexual immorality in others-would suffer spiritual death unless he or she finds God's forgiveness. (Galatians 5:19-21)

5) Adultery
In the Old Testament adultery only occurred if a married woman was involved. A man who slept with a single woman (see above) didn't commit adultery since men could, by law, have more than one wife. Since women couldn't, by law, have more than one husband, any sexual encounter with another man-married or single-was adultery. God vehemently condemns it (Lev. 20:10) and listed the punishment as death (Deut. 22:22).

In the New Testament anyone married to one person but sleeping with another committed adultery. "Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral" (Hebrews 13:4).

6) Lust
In the Old Testament God phrased it this way, "You shall not covet your neighbor's wife." (Exodus 20:17) In the New Testament Jesus said it like this, "You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matthew 5:27-28).

7) Prostitution
God stated He detests prostitution. (Deut. 23:17-18) In the New Testament He said through Paul, "Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never!" (1 Corinthians 6:15)

8) Bestiality
Any person, male or female, who participated in sexual activity with any animal was to be put to death under the Old Testament law (Lev. 20:15, 16).

9) Sex during menstrual period
A basic principle of Scripture is "the life of a creature is in the blood." (Lev. 17:11) Therefore, blood is always treated as holy--even in the New Testament (Acts 15:29).

Understanding that principle helps us understand God's law listed in the Old Testament about sexual relations during the wife's menstrual period. He said that it shouldn't happen (Lev. 15:24, 18:19) and listed the penalty as being "cut off" from the people. (Lev. 20:18) Many today believe that particular part of the "blood" law was given primarily for health reasons-the people of the Old Testament not having access to our modern hygiene or medicines-and that particular law has no application to Christians. Others feel that it lists God view of the sanctity of blood and should still be observed by Christians who respect God's feelings.

10) Harm the body
While this isn't specifically mentioned as I will describe it, the principle applies to anything that affects a person's body. Remember, the context in which this passage is found is one that discusses sexual activity. In 1 Corinthians 6:19, 20 Paul wrote for us, "Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore, honor God with your body." While our spirits belong to God, so does our body. We are not to do anything that desecrates that temple of God that our body is. Sexual activity that harms the body should not occur.
(http://www.joebeam.com/sexandbible)

Positive Points
Based on all we've studied in this section, it seems to me that we may infer these basic principles about God's view of sex.

    God intends for sex to be enjoyed by people married to each other-sex isn't just for procreation as with the other animals.
    God endorses our enjoyment of every part of our spouse's body.
    God wants each person in the marriage to conscientiously fulfill his or her mates sexual needs and desires.

Prohibitive Points
Based on our study, I believe that the following limitations must exist for sex to be everything that God intended.

    Sex must only take place in the confines of marriage.
    Sex may never involve:
    1. Another person besides your mate.
    2. Any animal.
    3. Anything that causes harm to either person's body.

That means that anything not prohibited by these principles is acceptable to God! So many things that some avoid for fear of offending God shouldn't be avoided at all. At least not avoided for religious reasons. They are just as valid and good as kissing, hugging, or any other expression of love between two who have committed themselves to each other. For more specifics, please read our weekly question/answer column about biblical principles of sexuality.

(http://www.joebeam.com/sexandbible)

What does this mean to your marriage?

Heb 13:4  Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.

Priority One
First, pay attention to your sexual life. While it is true that every part of your life affects every other part, you must make every effort to keep your sexual life healthy. Never forget God's warning about Satan's attack that He gave you in 1 Corinthians 7. Sexually unfulfilled people can be tempted through their lack of self-control. Remove that avenue of attack from Satan's forces by keeping your mate thoroughly sexually satisfied!

1Th 4:3  For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication:
1Th 4:4  That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour;

Priority Two
Second, keep the bedroom special. Never argue in that room. Never discipline the children there. Never, ever, pay bills in that room. The bedroom should be for sleeping and love-making-nothing else! Don't let that room be associated with any negative thing in your mind or emotions. Make it the most special room in your house.

Teach your children to respect the privacy of that room. Train them from infancy that when that door is shut, parents are spending special time with each other that is not to be violated. If you fear that they may figure out what you're doing in there, what better way to teach them healthy attitudes about sex? They learn to associate sex--although, of course, they shouldn't see or hear anything inappropriate--with love and marriage.

Priority Three
Third, if either of you wants sexual activity that the other finds uncomfortable--or perhaps even repulsive--each should submit to the other. That means that the initiator must not manipulate, cajole, pressure, or punish the reticent mate. But it also means that the reticent mate should prayerfully and purposefully work toward doing what the initiator requests--as long as it fits the principles outlined in this chapter.

For example, the reticent one should not allow another person to be involved in the couples sexual life if the initiator was to request such a thing. But if the initiator requests something outside the current comfort zone of the reticent mate that isn't wrong in the eyes of God, the reticent person should start making progress toward fulfilling that request.

With time and patience, each mate will get what he or she desires--a loving relationship that doesn't get stale, doesn't frustrate, and does fulfill each with great satisfaction.

(http://www.joebeam.com/sexandbible)


What if I’ve Already Had Sex?
Everyone falls to sin in some area or another. If your area happens to be sex, there is still hope. While you cannot become a virgin again, you can obtain God’s forgiveness. You just have to ask for it and try not to sin that way again. What truly angers God is willful sin, when you know you are sinning and keep on participating in that sin. While giving up sex may be difficult, God calls us to remain sexually pure until marriage.

Act 13:38-39  Be it known unto you therefore, men and brethren, that through this man is preached unto you the forgiveness of sins:  And by him all that believe are justified from all things, from which ye could not be justified by the law of Moses.


Rom 1:24  Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonour their own bodies between themselves:


As a Christian you fight off temptation every day. Being tempted is not the sin, but giving into the temptation is. So how do you fight off the temptation? The desire to have sex can be very strong, especially if you have already had sex. It is only by relying on God for strength that you can truly fight off the temptation to have sex.

1Co 10:13  There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.

Consequences of Premarital Sex


Premarital sex is also those who have sex and have no intention of getting married. Don't deceive yourself. Premarital sex is considered immoral as its consequences leads to other immoral behavior and also breaking of the law. When people engage in unprotected premarital sex, it will lead to unwanted pregnancies and children born out of wedlock. This leads to mental and emotional stress for couples who are not ready to bear the responsibility of having children.
As premarital sex often occurs throughout teenage years and among teenagers and adolescents, many are not ready for unwanted pregnancies after engaging in premarital sex as they are neither mature nor responsible enough. This causes a number of unwanted pregnancies to be aborted. In many countries, abortion is deemed to be illegal thus is against the law.
Also, children born to young couples who are not married might suffer physical, mental or sexual abuse. The number of such cases has been on the rise and it is believed that this is caused by young couples who engage in unprotected premarital sex that are not prepared to rear children.
In other cases, girls that do not abort their fetus might abandon their babies as soon as they are born as they are unable to raise them. This leads to a rise in the number of babies being abandoned in the country. Most of the time, these babies are often dead by the time they are found. If caught, the mothers of these babies are punishable by the law.
On the other hand, teenagers that engage in premarital sex can be going against the law if they are minors, even if there is mutual consent.
Most importantly, as those that engage in sex before marriage usually have unprotected sex, there is a high risk for them to contract sexually transmitted diseases like Herpes, Chlamydia, Genital Warts, Gonorrhea, Acquired immune deficiency syndrome (AIDS) and other diseases as people who engage in premarital sex tend to have multiple sex partners. Some sexually transmitted diseases can be treated if early treatment is sought. However, there has been no cure from AIDS.


The saying: "No man is an island" illustrates the extent of effects of the consequences of premarital sex. It is like a wave that affects not only you, your partner in crime, the baby that is result of the crime and the people related to you, many more.

Depending on he cultures and laws of the land, it hurts everybody you know, the family, the community, the church, the school, your friends, relatives are affected in some way.

So, be proactive and it's better to prevent than to cure...

1Th 5:22  Abstain from all appearance of evil.

Helpful topics: Preventing the sexual abuse of children: keeping our churches safe
Protecting our churches and families from online pornography

The confusion about eternal Salvation or Security

Heb 5:9  And being made perfect, he became the author of eternal salvation unto all them that obey him;


1. They are confused about God's Grace.

    Salvation is God's grace. Grace means unmerited favor. We don't deserve Salvation and we can't earn it or work for it instead God designed it to be a free, voluntary gift. The gift is His sacrificial death in the cross. It is  to be received as a gift and the gift is sealed or wrapped that we can't add anything to it. We can receive it only by faith. It is the trusting that His sacrificial death in the cross is the ultimate sacrificial payment for our debt, which is sin. It is substitution, Jesus is our substitute, He died in our stead.


This gruesome, inhuman, shameful, painful sacrifice is suffered by Christ not intended for a season only but He done that, once for all suffering for us to enjoy life with Him ETERNALLY!

We are the undeserving beneficiary of His grace.

The REQUIREMENT: YOU NEED TO RECEIVE IT BY FAITH.

God's grace is intended for all human beings...

1Jn 2:2  And he is the propitiation for our sins: and not for ours only, but also for the sins of the whole world.

God's love is expressed by GIVING His Son, not His best angel, not His best messenger but His only begotten SON!

Joh 3:16  For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

GRACE can not be mixed with WORKS! Good Works, Works of Righteousness, works according to the law.

Rom 11:6  And if by grace, then is it no more of works: otherwise grace is no more grace. But if it be of works, then is it no more grace: otherwise work is no more work.

Eph 2:8  For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:
Eph 2:9  Not of works, lest any man should boast.
Eph 2:10  For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus(Saved in Christ Jesus) unto good works(SAVED to DO good works), which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.

Tit 3:5  Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost;

Our BEST Righteousness can not ever reach God's Holy Standards and is FILTHY and it STINKS!

Isa 64:6  But we are all as an unclean thing, and all our righteousness are as filthy rags; and we all do fade as a leaf; and our iniquities, like the wind, have taken us away.

Rom 3:23  For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; 

We need GRACE to save, NOT the LAW.

Rom 3:20  Therefore by the deeds of the law there shall no flesh be justified in his sight: for by the law is the knowledge of sin.

Rom_6:14  For sin shall not have dominion over you: for ye are not under the law, but under grace.

Link: Free Salvation


2.They are confused about the correct placement of Good Works.

Good Works is good. Righteous works is righteous. But even how good a thing is if it is placed in the wrong place became WRONG.

In Salvation, it is 100% work of God. The Father planned it before the World begun, The Son, Jesus Christ executed it by dying on the cross, and the Holy Spirit administers it to all who will receive Christ.

So, what's left is, only by faith, by faith alone, RECEIVE it.

Why RECEIVE, because it is an offer, a gift, free but priceless, meaning, the price is so high that no man can afford or earn or deserve it. It is so precious. So, God by His grace, gave it 100% FREE!

It is the sign of His great love to us... that He was willing to give His Son to suffer and die to save man.

Now, where is the human good works, place in the picture?

Eph 2:8  For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:
Eph 2:9  Not of works, lest any man should boast.
Eph 2:10  For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.

It is designed that we are saved by God freely by grace, to do GOOD WORKS. It means God is expecting that those who are saved freely will work. What kind of work?  You are to work as a child. You did not became a child because of your own works but you, after you became a child must work, not to be saved, because you are already saved but for God's glory and pleasure. When you work He will bless you and reward you. Salvation is never a reward and reward is never salvation.

Good works is the RESULT, the fruit of Salvation. You will work because you are already a child. Your work will never affect your relationship as a child or your status as a saved. It is always a permanent relationship.

A person who works in a house, called a house maid, or a nanny of a child, works and works... But even how good he or she works he or she can never be a child. If he or she fails, she's fired. But a child even if he will not work will always be your child. But if he will work and obey, you are happy and you may reward the child and bless him with blessings. So works, does not make a person a child, but the birthing of her mother and once she is born she can never be unborn. It is a permanent relationship.You may rebuke, discipline the child and spank him but it will never lost the relationship as a child.

Our good works is never a part of the process of salvation.

 Correct Formula:  REPENTANCE + FAITH = SALVATION,    SALVATION -> GOOD WORKS (Salvation RESULTS to Good Works)

The wrong formulas with mixture of human good works: (ADULTERATED)

REPENTANCE+FAITH+WORK=SALVATION    (Wrong)

REPENTANCE+FAITH+BAPTISM=SALVATION    (Wrong)

REPENTANCE+FAITH+CHURCH=SALVATION    (Wrong)

Good works is intended after salvation. NOT FOR MAINTENANCE OF SALVATION BUT FOR REWARDS.

Mat 5:16  Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.

This is a child already because he will glorify his Father, who is God and he will do it by his good works.

Good works is a sign that you are a believer, a child of God. If you are a real child it wil be seen by the fruits and by your works.

Jas 2:18  Yea, a man may say, Thou hast faith, and I have works: shew me thy faith without thy works, and I will shew thee my faith by my works.

Good works are an expression of gratitude in the believer's heart.

Joh 14:15  If ye love me, keep my commandments.

Good works is the fruit of the Spirit.

Tit 2:10  Not purloining, but shewing all good fidelity; that they may adorn the doctrine of God our Savior in all things.
Tit 2:11  For the grace of God that bringeth salvation hath appeared to all men,
Tit 2:12  Teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly, in this present world;

Good works of the most sincere believers are all imperfect, yet like their persons they are accepted through the mediation of Jesus Christ (Col 3:17  And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him.), and so are rewarded; they have no merit intrinsically, but are rewarded wholly of grace.

All the good works that will qualify will be rewarded during the Judgment Seat of Christ

SALVATION VERSUS
REWARDS FOR CHRISTIANS 

There is a vast difference between the doctrine of salvation for the lost, and the doctrine of rewards for the saved.

1. Salvation Is Free
Salvation is “the gift of God, not of works” (Eph 2:8, 9). Salvation is received by faith in what Jesus did on the cross. “This is my blood which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins” (Mat_26:28 ).
Christ died, for our sins according to the Scriptures’ “(1Co_15:3).
When I believe that the blood Jesus shed on the cross was the full payment for my sin, I have everlasting life (John 3:36).

2. Rewards Are Earned
Rewards are according to the works of the believer (Mat_16:27).
The scripture verses from 1Co_3:8-15 give a most revealing insight into rewards.
a. Rewarded For Labor. Every believer will be rewarded according to his own labor (vs 8). We do not labor for salvation,
b. God’s Fellow Workers. “We are God’s fellow workers” (vs 9) — not for salvation, but for rewards.
c. Build On Christ. The believer is to build on the Lord Jesus Christ — the only foundation (vs 11).
d. Choice Of Materials. The believer has a choice of two main types of building materials: “gold, silver, precious stones”
— eternal materials; or “wood, hay, straw” — temporal materials (vs 12; cf. 2Co_4:18).
e. Receive A Reward. The believer who builds on Christ with eternal materials, “gold, silver, precious stones,” will receive a reward.
f. Receive No Reward. Those who build on Christ with temporal materials, “wood, hay, straw,” will receive no reward. The “wood, hay, straw “works will be destroyed at the judgment seat of Christ “(2Co_5:10), and the believer will suffer loss — not the loss of salvation, but the loss of his crown or his reward.

Link: Is Good Works important?



3. They are confused about the relationship of the Father and the children.

When we REPENTED AND by FAITH Received Jesus our Lord, we obeyed God's command to be saved.

Mar 1:15  And saying, The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand: repent ye, and believe the gospel.

This is the first message of Jesus after He was baptized and tempted after His forty days and nights fasting.
It is clear that the formula of salvation is set. REPENTANCE AND FAITH.

Act_20:21  Testifying both to the Jews, and also to the Greeks, repentance toward God, and faith toward our Lord Jesus Christ.

We should not add to that formula because it will destroy and make  dangerous consequences and miss eternal life with our own human ideas and methods.

Mar 7:7  Howbeit in vain do they worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men.

We should realize the fact that we are BORN... experiencing the unique and special relationship to the Father by the SPIRITUAL BIRTH.

Joh_3:3  Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.
Joh_3:7  Marvel not that I said unto thee, Ye must be born again.
1Pe_1:23  Being born again, not of corruptible seed, but of incorruptible, by the word of God, which liveth and abideth for ever.

This SPIRITUAL BIRTH is a real process of entering the FAMILY OF GOD. It is when we received Jesus Christ that this process is consummated and you are born to be a CHILD of GOD!

Joh 1:12  But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name:
Joh 1:13  Which were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God.

This birth is God's design and plan, that in the moment that you Receive Him, you are BORN, like physical birth it created a permanent relationship with your parent. In this case, God is your father and you are the child.

Mat_5:9  Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.
Luk_20:36  Neither can they die any more: for they are equal unto the angels; and are the children of God, being the children of the resurrection.
Joh_11:52  And not for that nation only, but that also he should gather together in one the children of God that were scattered abroad.
Rom_8:16  The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God:
Rom_8:21  Because the creature itself also shall be delivered from the bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of the children of God.
Rom_9:8  That is, They which are the children of the flesh, these are not the children of God: but the children of the promise are counted for the seed.
Gal_3:26  For ye are all the children of God by faith in Christ Jesus.
1Jn_3:10  In this the children of God are manifest, and the children of the devil: whosoever doeth not righteousness is not of God, neither he that loveth not his brother.
1Jn_5:2  By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God, and keep his commandments.

This relationship entails benefits and responsibilities. But the relationship is permanent that you can never be unborn. The responsibilities is not a condition of the termination of the relationship.It is not to maintain the relationship. It is for the enjoyment and good fellowship of the relationship. It is a double benefit because God will reward His children who will continue to obey and please Him and discipline His children who will disobey and disregard His commands.

God will always treat you as His child. We should not confuse ourselves with those who did not accepted Jesus Christ truly in their hearts or is not sincere. They are still unsaved unless they repent. Many of these are in churches, religious organizations that are not truly saved. They can not backslide because they are from the beginning never been saved.

1Jn_2:19  They went out from us, but they were not of us; for if they had been of us, they would no doubt have continued with us: but they went out, that they might be made manifest that they were not all of us.

Those who are truly saved can never be lost again. He may be a prodigal son in Luke 15:11-32 but he will surely come back. He is experiencing the loving discipline of a loving Father who is always waiting for his return and will celebrate his return.

The sin that separates has no power now to destroy the relationship completely because all the payment is enough and is sufficient to cover and forgive all sins. Our sins after we are saved affects us in our good fellowship with God called the "joy of our salvation" but remember, salvation is always intact and permanent, only the JOY is affected.

Psa_51:12  Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit.

King David was saved in an early life and had been a victorious child of God, he killed Goliath in his young age and anointed king also at young age, but he never lost that relationship later by his sins of adultery and murder. Instead, we can see God's discipline and the consequences of sin that the sword never left his house. His child Absalom even try to kill him. But still the indications of His being a child of God is seen that he requested to restore to him the joy of his salvation.

The discipline is hurtful and is painful to the flesh and to the soul but it is to correct and purify us which is enough to make us realize God's good intentions and plan to make the best for us. That we can say that ALL THINGS... is for our Good!

Rom 8:28  And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

Link: The new birth, the start of the relationship
Link: How to be born again?


4. They are confused with Discipline.

Psa 37:23  The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD: and he delighteth in his way.
Psa 37:24  Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the LORD upholdeth him with his hand.

Those who does not believe Eternal Salvation springs from the unfounded fear that eternal security may result to abuse and that people will not do good works. But that teaching that salvation is by good works or you must maintain good works to be saved have bring many to hell because of the percentage of faith they exercise for salvation and they violated and adulterated God's plan of salvation that should be by Christ alone.

Salvation is 100% faith in Jesus Christ to save you and no adulteration of any human effort or works. It is 100% grace before and after salvation.

If a person believes that 99.9% Jesus can save him and .1% he believes that by his own human work will help save him, he goes to hell. It must be 100% FAITH in JESUS alone.

Joh 14:6  Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.

The article, "the" indicates that it is absolute and only by Jesus, it means He is the only one Way to Heaven.

Act 4:12  Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved.

It is only in the NAME of Jesus Christ that man can be saved.

Now, the fear of abuse is unfounded because in God's wisdom, He has established the system to deal with His children whom He loved if they  commit sin in the flesh.

Remember, sin is committed in the flesh only, it's the soul that decides and the flesh suffers discipline but the spirit does not commit sin. Check this verses:

1Jn 1:8  If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.
1Jn 1:9  If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
1Jn 1:10  If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.

These verses teaches us that we are sinners saved by grace(in the flesh) and we sin daily in thinking, in action, and in words and we need to confess to God daily and ask forgiveness daily. These truth is referring to our flesh.

Luk 11:2  And he said unto them, When ye pray, say, Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done, as in heaven, so in earth.
Luk 11:3  Give us day by day our daily bread.
Luk 11:4  And forgive us our sins; for we also forgive every one that is indebted to us. And lead us not into temptation; but deliver us from evil.

In the model prayer, we are given by Christ the pattern of asking forgiveness of sin because we are in the flesh can sin. And God will discipline us.

These activities and system is not to maintain salvation but for us to be usable for his glory and the discipline is hurting us including the consequences that happens because of that sins.

Heb 12:5  And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons? "My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him.
Heb 12:6  For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives."
Heb 12:7  It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline?
Heb 12:8  If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons.
Heb 12:9  Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live?
Heb 12:10  For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness.
Heb 12:11  For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.
Heb 12:12  Therefore lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees,
Heb 12:13  and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint but rather be healed.

Discipline will prevent abuse and it will create Godly fear, and because it is motivated by God's love we can see His goodness in the process and love Him more.

Those who does not trust God in His process of discipline and still think that eternal security is false is telling God that His system is in error and is weak and still can be abused. If God had loved and saved us when we were sinners why He can't help us and discipline us when we are already inside His care as our Father and in His keeping.

Our spirit which is from God which we acquired after we received Christ can not sin.

1Jn 3:9  Whosoever is born of God doth not commit sin; for his seed remaineth in him: and he cannot sin, because he is born of God.

Our spirit which is born of God can not sin. The spirit is not affected and it is the flesh that is suffering the discipline. Remember, it is the spirit which is with God's spirit that dwells in us and will never leave us is the seal and the assurance of our eternal security. We can also observe these truths in these verses.

Eph 4:30  And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.

Psa 89:30  If his children forsake my law, and walk not in my judgments;
Psa 89:31  If they break my statutes, and keep not my commandments;
Psa 89:32  Then will I visit their transgression with the rod, and their iniquity with stripes.
Psa 89:33  Nevertheless my lovingkindness will I not utterly take from him, nor suffer my faithfulness to fail.
Psa 89:34  My covenant will I not break, nor alter the thing that is gone out of my lips.
Psa 89:35  Once have I sworn by my holiness that I will not lie unto David.

You can observe in these verses that if God's dear children disobeys, He has the rod to put disciplinary stripes and that hurts. That will be the fearful thing to happen if we commit sin... or abuse... but see the beautiful words, His lovingkindness, and His faithfulness will not fail. His covenants that once you have received Christ you have eternal life, He will not break nor alter it by saying you now will go to hell because you sinned again. He will with the rod put bruises or stripes but you are still saved.

1Co 5:1  It is reported commonly that there is fornication among you, and such fornication as is not so much as named among the Gentiles, that one should have his father's wife.
1Co 5:5  To deliver such an one unto Satan for the destruction of the flesh, that the spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus.

Here are another verses that illustrates God's discipline and the eternal salvation that we have in His grace. This person sinned a fornication that is not common and done by a member of the church at Corinth. You can see that Satan will be given the authority to do harm to his flesh that may cause pain and destruction to discipline him but you can see that the spirit may be saved. It indicates that the spirit of the saved is not included in the discipline because it can not sin. The spirit is the one giving us the assurance that even if we die in the flesh because of the sins of the flesh, we are always secured. Where is abuse then? If a person does not experience discipline after sinning, he may be not saved. But a real saved person will do good works because he love his God who saved him and avoid sin to avoid discipline and be useful so he can be used to saved others by his witness and by his light.

1Co 3:11  For other foundation can no man lay than that is laid, which is Jesus Christ.
1Co 3:12  Now if any man build upon this foundation gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, stubble;
1Co 3:13  Every man's work shall be made manifest: for the day shall declare it, because it shall be revealed by fire; and the fire shall try every man's work of what sort it is.
1Co 3:14  If any man's work abide which he hath built thereupon, he shall receive a reward.
1Co 3:15  If any man's work shall be burned, he shall suffer loss: but he himself shall be saved; yet so as by fire.

A person after judgment, may suffer loss because he has no good works that may qualify him for rewards, but he is saved from hell because he has eternal security.

2Co 5:10  For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ; that every one may receive the things done in his body, according to that he hath done, whether it be good or bad.

2Co_5:11  Knowing therefore the terror of the Lord, we persuade men; but we are made manifest unto God; and I trust also are made manifest in your consciences.

Link: Temptation... Stand ground and avoid discipline!
Link: Discipline, the mark of a disciple.
Link: God's guidance
Link: The soldier - obedience

5. They are confused about the two natures of the SAVED.

The two natures we now possess are referred to by various terms in the Scriptures.
A. ADAMIC NATURE: Outward man, old man, carnal man, fleshly man.
B. SPIRIT NATURE: Inward man, inner man, new man, divine nature.The spirit is born again, not the flesh, John 3:6-7; I John 3:9; I Peter 1:23.

During salvation, the Fleshly nature was not abolished right way but a new nature was added, the spiritual nature acquired by the spiritual birth referred as being born again. The salvation of the flesh is in the future during rapture or resurrection that we will have the glorified body.

The flesh is against God and must be disciplined and controlled by God through the spirit to be useful for His glory.

Rom 8:7  Because the carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be.
Rom 8:8  So then they that are in the flesh cannot please God.

We must be subject to the Holy Spirit to control the flesh nature. These two natures are fighting for supremacy and by surrendering to God and by the filling of the Holy Spirit which means we give our will under His will, we can reflect what God wants and His characteristics are manifested in us.

Gal 5:16  This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.
Gal 5:17  For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would.

St. Paul, the apostle expressed the conflict he is experiencing that by the flesh, he do what he is against, and only by the spirit nature that he can enjoy spiritual things. These truths gives us the Biblical stand that our eternal salvation is not based in our flesh which everyday can commit sin but in the sinless spirit that is from God and can not sin. These also shows that in our human effort, we can never maintain salvation through good works because by the flesh we will surely fail.

So before and after salvation, good works is never a requirement for saving or maintaining salvation. Good works is for rewards.


Rom 7:15  For that which I do I allow not: for what I would, that do I not; but what I hate, that do I.
Rom 7:16  If then I do that which I would not, I consent unto the law that it is good.
Rom 7:17  Now then it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me.
Rom 7:18  For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not.
Rom 7:19  For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do.
Rom 7:20  Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me.
Rom 7:21  I find then a law, that, when I would do good, evil is present with me.
Rom 7:22  For I delight in the law of God after the inward man:
Rom 7:23  But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members.
Rom 7:24  O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death?
Rom 7:25  I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin.

In the flesh, we can never inherit God's kingdom but when our vile bodies is changed into the glorious body like Christ during the resurrection or rapture, we can never sin again.

1Co 6:9  Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,
1Co 6:10  Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.
1Co 6:11  And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God.

The flesh must be subjected, trained and disciplined to function correctly and not to obey its lusts. The process is to crucify the flesh, that is to sacrifice as stated in Rom. 12:1-2.

Solution to sin: Crucify the flesh! Think you are dead to sin.

Gal 5:19  Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness,
Gal 5:20  Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies,
Gal 5:21  Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.
Gal 5:22  But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,
Gal 5:23  Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.
Gal 5:24  And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.
Gal 5:25  If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.
Gal 5:26  Let us not be desirous of vain glory, provoking one another, envying one another.

1Pe 1:23  Being born again, not of corruptible seed, but of incorruptible, by the word of God, which liveth and abideth for ever.

Eph 4:22  That ye put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts;
Eph 4:23  And be renewed in the spirit of your mind;
Eph 4:24  And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness.

Mortify means:  To subdue or bring into subjection, as the bodily appetites by abstinence or rigorous severities. To subdue; to abase; to humble; to reduce; to restrain; as inordinate passions.

Col 3:5  Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry:
Col 3:6  For which things' sake the wrath of God cometh on the children of disobedience:
Col 3:7  In the which ye also walked some time, when ye lived in them.

Rom 8:6  For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.

Gal 6:8  For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting.

Link: Two natures

6. They are confused about  ETERNAL LIFE.

Eternal Life means eternal life. Eternal means no ending. Life means meaningful, abundant, joyful, life with God in heaven. It simply means a truly SAVED is always SAVED.

Saved not by feelings or emotion, not because somebody told you so... but founded or based in the promises of the Bible that those who have Christ is saved.

Eternal life is found 30 times in the Bible.

Eternal life was designed and planned by God in eternity to those who will believe, receive Jesus Christ as Savior. It is packaged in Jesus Christ. It is always through Jesus Christ. Without Christ, no eternal life. Eternal life was promised before the world began.

Tit_1:2  In hope of eternal life, which God, that cannot lie, promised before the world began;
1Jn_2:25  And this is the promise that he hath promised us, even eternal life.
1Jn_5:11  And this is the record, that God hath given to us eternal life, and this life is in his Son.

Eternal life is permanent. It is fixed and covenanted that nothing can change what was promised by God to those who obey the command to REPENT and by faith RECEIVE the Son of God who is the way, the truth and the life. Eternal life is not conditioned or dependent in us. We are not the one holding God, it is God holding us who promised.

Joh 10:28  And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.
Joh 10:29  My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father's hand.
Eph 1:13  In whom ye also trusted, after that ye heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation: in whom also after that ye believed, ye were sealed with that holy Spirit of promise,

This is the Trinity that is ensuring that those who by faith trusted Jesus for salvation is Eternally saved.

There are 10 cows in the fold, one of them jumped... How many cows are left?

Answer: Still 10.

Romans 8:35-39 is teaching us that nothing, even we ourselves will jump from God's hands, we can never pluck ourselves out from His love, that's how stubborn is God's love for us.

 Rom 8:35  Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?

Rom 8:36  As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.
Rom 8:37  Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.
Rom 8:38  For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,
Rom 8:39  Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.  

You are More than Conqueror through Christ!

In verse Romans 8:39, "nor any other creature...", remember we are just God's creature. Satan is only a fallen angel, nor height, how high can you jump? and the depth, how deep can you fall... Nothing can separate you from His eternal salvation that you are declared MORE THAN CONQUEROR because of Jesus Christ, our mighty Lord and Savior.

We will even know for sure that we have the possession and that we enjoy eternal life.

1Jn_5:11  And this is the record, that God hath given to us eternal life, and this life is in his Son.
1Jn_5:13  These things have I written unto you that believe on the name of the Son of God; that ye may know that ye have eternal life, and that ye may believe on the name of the Son of God.
1Jn_5:20  And we know that the Son of God is come, and hath given us an understanding, that we may know him that is true, and we are in him that is true, even in his Son Jesus Christ. This is the true God, and eternal life.

2Ti 1:12  For the which cause I also suffer these things: nevertheless I am not ashamed: for I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that he is able to keep that which I have committed unto him against that day.

Lastly, we can see that in this verse it speaks of the two different destinies of Man.

Mat 25:46  And these shall go away into everlasting punishment: but the righteous into life eternal.

The only difference why they will go to such a place, is their decision and how they respond to God's offer of free eternal salvation. Will they reject of receive it.

Thank God for the Eternal salvation He has given us.

Heb 5:9  And being made perfect, he became the author of eternal salvation unto all them that obey him;

 Isa 14:24  The LORD of hosts hath sworn, saying, Surely as I have thought, so shall it come to pass; and as I have purposed, so shall it stand:

Think, if Jesus have died for us, will He allow that the people He died for, will ever be lost again?
Will God allow the blood and death of His Son be wasted?

Never!

Heb 6:4  For it is impossible for those who were once enlightened, and have tasted of the heavenly gift, and were made partakers of the Holy Ghost,
Heb 6:5  And have tasted the good word of God, and the powers of the world to come,
Heb 6:6  If they shall fall away, to renew them again unto repentance; seeing they crucify to themselves the Son of God afresh, and put him to an open shame.

If those He died for will again be lost... then you need to crucify Christ again to save them!

Never!

Salvation is not about us... It's for God's glory and pleasure!

Thank you Lord for your AMAZING GRACE!

Amen!

Link: 101 Bible reasons proving eternal security.
Link: Eternal Security
Link: Eternal Preservation
Link: Victorious Living

Top performance

Top Performance, 

Zig Ziglar, et. al.,  (How to Develop Excellencies in Yourself and Others), (Manila: OMF Literature 1986)

You can have everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want!

Preface

            “15% of the reason you get a job, keep that job, and move ahead in that job is determined by your technical skills and knowledge – regardless of your profession!...that 85% of the reason you get a job, keep that job, and move ahead in that job has to do with your people skills and people knowledge!” Cavett Robert, a human engineer.

            Managing People – starting with yourself becomes a high priority if we are to be successful. This book, have these goals relating to understanding people management skills:

1.      We will identify the key factors in people management, including helping managers to identify sources of conflict.

2.      We will offer solutions to help overcome these potential sources of conflict.

3.      We will share how you can apply the principles and ideas other managers have used successfully, thereby taking this book out of the realm of theory and making it applicable in the real world.

4.      We will showcase practical Top Performance through real life illustrations gathered from successful executives.

5.      We will bridge the gap between training and development so as to create Top Performers who are truly performance champions.

John Naisbitt, Megatrends says “retaining managers, not retaining workers, is the biggest challenge for the information-age corporation. With this in mind, the ultimate goal of Top Performance is to develop excellence in managers and to provide management with teach procedures and inspiration to effectively develop and utilize team members.

The foundation for developing yourself and others is wrapped up in this principle:

You can have everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want!

As a tactic, the words would be crass and ineffective. As a principle, the concept works because it makes others want your leadership.

The great managers from all fields know that when they put people first, their effectiveness and efficiency improve.

Management  is “getting things done through people.”         Successful managers recognize, develop, and use all their strength by recognizing, developing, and utilizing the talents of their subordinates. They learn what makes people tick and transfer their own feelings of excitement and enthusiasm to those who follow their leadership.

Introduction

            Your faith in the plan enable you to play the game with a great deal of excitement, enthusiasm, and confidence that you would win. ..Your objective is to produce other managers and leaders who can be more productive than you are.

Part 1 The Art of Top Performance

            The object of art is to crystallize emotion into thoughts and then fix it in form. – Delsarte.

1.      Building a Foundation

No legitimate business man can ever got started on the road to permanent success by any other means than that of hard, intelligent work, coupled with an earned credit, plus character. – Timothy Dwight.

In life, our foundation stones are the things that will determine to a very large degree how high we will climb and, more importantly, how long we will maintain those lofty positions.

Integrity, which means “basic wholeness,” is essential to that foundation.

A pleasing personality helps win friends and influence people. However, when we add character and integrity to that formula, we are able to keep those friends and maintain the influence.

In a study in Psychological Report,2002, entitled “Goal-Directedness and Personal Identity as Correlates of Life Outcomes,” Dr. Barry M. Goldman, Dr. Edwin A. Locke, and David G. Jensen found that your values, motives, confidence, and philosophy of life have a direct bearing on your self-image, and in 1985 Dr. S. Kahn and colleagues found that self-image is associated with life happiness and satisfaction, personal well-being, and mental satisfaction. Its true. Our values impact every aspect of our lives. It would be difficult to imagine that a person who was a liar and a thief could have a healthy self-image. Needless to say, he would not expect to have a long-term, happy business or personal life.

Francis Fukuyama in his book, Trust: The Social Virtues and the Creation of Prosperity, studied several cultures over several generations and concluded: “The progress of a nation could be measured by the level of trust in that nation.”

How important is trust?

Walter Information and Hudson Institute revealed in a study: “if the associates and employees did not think management was ethical, only 9 % of them were committed to staying where they were. On the other hand, if trust in management was evident, 55% of them had every intention of staying where they were. Since the cost of replacing valued employees is enormous, creating a foundation of trust is essential to having a successful business.

In a world of sales, the five major reasons people do not buy: -no need -no money -no hurry -no desire -no trust -the last one is the biggie. Most prospects will not arbitrarily say, “You know you’re stretching the truth” or, “You’re lying about this,” but there is something they just feel. Because they feel that something is amiss, they simply do not buy.

Creativity has a critical role in the leadership/management world – not only creativity on your part but your ability to teach your people by example how to be creative. It’s important that you understand that the more you know about any one subject, the more creative you will become as you expand your knowledge in any area.

Example: Matt Boswell is in the dog-waste removal business, land his promotion is truly unique. On his business card it states, “Too Pooped to Scoop? Reclaim your yard. The Pet Butler. Picking up where your dog left off since 1998.” Then, “Our business stinks but it’s picking up.” His name, “Matt Boswell, Entre-manure.” He’s actually a “Fecal Matter Removal Technician” and claims to be “Number One in the Number Two Business.” He closes out his card, “For Dogs on the Go” and “Not Too Cool to Get the Stool. Your Pet’s Business Is Our Business.” Chances are good you won’t go into competition with Matt Boswell, but it is safe to say that he used his creativity effectively to build a business – and you can use yours to improve your business.

Integrity, character/values, trust, and creativity make up the cornerstones of your foundation for management style, leadership style, and lifestyle.

PERFORMANCE PRINCIPLES

1. Your foundation determines how successful you will be.

2. Character, integrity, values, and trust are the four cornerstones of a good foundation.

3. Creativity pulls everything together.

2.      Choosing to Be a Top Performer

We are free up to the point of choice, then the choice controls the chooser. – Mary Crowley.

            Our success in life is determined by the choices we make. You are going to be making choices that will determine your success as you learn to manage yourself and others. To be effective in making choices, you must understand the difference between reacting and responding. …I could have chosen to respond -  which is positive – or I could have chosen to react – which is negative. I chose to respond.

            If react and respond sound like the same thing to you, let me explain the difference. You go to the doctor, who gives you a prescription and tells you to come back the next day. When you go back, if he looks worried and tells you he needs to change the prescription because your body is reacting to the medicine, you’re probably going to be concerned. On the other hand, if he tells you your body is responding to the medicine, you’re going to smile, because you know you’re on your way to recovery. So, to react is negative and to respond is positive – the choice is yours! It’s a fact that you can’t tailor-made the situations in life, but you can tailor-made the attitude to fit those situations before they arise.

            Fred Smith in his book You and Your Network,  he says that when others deal with you in a mean and vicious way, in most cases it’s not because they want to hurt us. It’s far more likely that they are acting that way because they  are hurting. Please understand that every obnoxious act is a cry for help. Recognizing and accepting this fact makes it much easier for us to take a calmer, more levelheaded approach to our functions as managers and as people.

            All of life is a series of choices, and what you choose to give life today will determine what life will give you tomorrow….Every choice we make, whether it is good or bad, has consequences! You are free to choose, but the choices you make today will determine what you will be, do, and have in the tomorrows of your life…

            Common sense, gratitude, loyalty, and discipline are some of the right choices that Top Performers make.

            PERFORMANCE PRINCIPLES

1.      Regardless of your past, tomorrow is a clean slate.

2.      Every obnoxious act is a cry for help.

3.      Don’t waste time placing blame; fix the cause!

4.      The choices you make today will determine what you will be, do, and have in the tomorrows of your life.

5.      Top Performers learn to make the proper choices.

6.      Top Performers know that when they continuously add new concepts and ideas into their minds, they are burying some of the archaic ideas already in place.

           

3.      Causing Others to Want Your Leadership

“Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something that you want done because he wants to do it. – Dwight D. Eisenhower.

           

            A Sense of Humor Will Help

            Leaders Deserve – and Get – Cooperation.

            No matter how brilliant or how technically capable you are, you won’t be effective as a leader unless you gain the willing cooperation of others…Remember, cooperation, like leadership, is not getting the other fellow to do what you want. Rather, it means getting him to want to do what you want.

            You succeed in getting cooperation by giving your people doses of leadership – leadership that is Dynamic, Organized, Sensitive, Effective, and Strong-willed.

            There must be some reason why you have your position. Now is the time to face some facts about yourself and your future as a manager of people. Look at areas such as planning, organization, communication, listening, decision making, delegation, and motivation.

            John D. Rockefeller stated: “I will pay more for the ability to deal with people than any other ability under the sun.” To cause others to want our leadership and management, we must become expert in the kinds of people skills to which Mr. Rockefeller was referring. According to Ralph Waldo Emerson, our chief want is someone who will inspired us to be what we know we could be.

            Dan Rather, CBS News anchor, took Emerson further when he said: “The dream begins with a teacher who believes in you, who tugs and pushes and leads you to the next plateau, sometimes poking you with a sharp stick called “truth.” As a manager, you must embody all that these men are speaking of and more. If this sounds like an overwhelming task, it is no. Actually, becoming an expert in the people business can be very simple, I did not say “easy”…nothing in life is easy, but managing people should not – must not – be made complex.

            Krish Dhanam, director of international operations, knows better than most what it takes to find the right leader: ”Top Performer see something in others that others might not see in themselves.

            PERFORMANCE PRINCIPLES

1.      A sense of humor is vital to good leadership.

2.      Common goals plus a common cause equal greater success.

3.      Cooperation must  be earned, not demanded.

4.      Face up to your strengths as well as your weakness.

5.      All resources are not obvious; great managers find and develop available talent.

6.      Playing as a team increases the odds of winning.

4.      Look for the Good

“How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of the weak and the strong. Because someday in life you will have been all of these.- George Washington Carver.

            Goodfinders

            Expect the Best

            Loyalty

G in our GEL formula stands for Goodfinder – those who are expert in Top Performance learn to look for the good in each person they manage.

Andrew Carnegie: “No man can become rich without himself enriching others.” …”When you work with people, it is a lot like mining for gold…when you mine for gold, you must literally move tons of dirt to find a single ounce of gold. However, you do not look for the dirt – you look for the gold!”

Dr. Norman Vincent Peale: “The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism.”

Criticize the Performance – Not the Performer.

Effective leadership demands that kind of approach. Extend the hand of encouragement to the person while making it clear that you expect – even demand – that he use his ability for maximum results. In short, have that person reaching for more, but do it without challenging or questioning his worth as an individual. Assure him that you really respect and appreciate his ability – and that’s why work that is not consistent with his ability is unacceptable.

The ABCs of Management

Ken Blanchard with Dr. Robert Lorber, Putting the One Minute Manager to Work – these men identify the ABCs of management and reveal some startling facts:

A = Activators…what a manager does before performance

B = Behavior…performance, what someone says or does

C = Consequences…what a manager does after performance.

“Most people think activators have a greater influence on performance than consequences. And yet, only 15 – 25% of what influences performance comes from activators like goal setting, while 75 – 85% of it (behavior) comes from consequences like praising and reprimands.”

What happens after a person does something has more impact than what happens before!  THE BEST MANAGERS MAKE FINDING THE GOOD IN OTHERS A PRIORITY.

Action Often Precedes the Feeling

2 things to remember:

1. The complement must be sincere.

2. You cannot follow every compliment with a correction.

A Tool for Written Feedback

I LIKE…BECAUSE… You are a Winner!!!

Love and respect are possibly the two most needed commodities in our society today. Unfortunately they are also the rarest.

“Gratitude can be expressed in many ways, and the expression of gratitude is universal.”

If it’s a principle, it’s a winner – if it’s a tactic, it’s a loser.

PERFORMANCE PRINCIPLES

1. Look for the good in others.

2. Catch them doing something right.

3. Remember that action often precedes the feeling.

4. Seize the opportunity to share a sincere compliment.

5. Praise in public; censure in private.

5.      Expect the Best

If you want to get the best out of a man, you must look for the best that is in him – Bernard Haldane

E in our GEL formula is Expect the Best.

William James, the father of American psychology: we become how we act.

Alfred Adler, another well-known psychologist, reaffirmed: “if we make ourselves smile, we actually feel like smiling.

In short, our moods match our posture, and more important, people around us tend to feel as we feel. Mood is contagious.

Through the power of expectation, any manager can develop an adequate, realistic self-image in personnel that will imbue them with new capabilities and new talents, and literally turn failures into successes.

A. Positive Feedback – Be a goodfinder!

B. Regular Learning and Growth Opportunities –

C. Activities and Information that prove our efforts are meaningful, productive, and appreciated.

The Performance Value Package:

(1) Foundational performance.- this is the level of performance the person must achieve to continue to work with the organization.

(2) Successful performance – the level of performance that might reasonably and realistically be expected by both the manager and employee.

(3) Value performance – the level of performance that might be expected if everything goes according to plan and the employee excels in all areas. Top Performers with a target, determined by sharing and discussion.

D. Generate desirable and rewarding consequences for others

Due process means “three strikes and you’re out.” When an employee makes a mistake, we should be really pleased! Why? Simply because we learn much from mistakes than we do from victories. But making the same mistakes the third time means termination.

PERFORMANCE PRINCIPLES

1. We generally get from others what we expect.

2. The difference between good and excellent companies is training.

3. You find what you look for in life.

4. Never make a promise without a plan.

5. Happiness, joy and gratitude are universal if we know what to look for.

6.      “Wait for Me, I’m Your Leader!”

An ounce of loyalty is worth a pound of cleverness. – Elbert Hubbard

L in our GEL formula stands for Loyalty. Loyalty for managers, is remembering that while you don’t work twenty-four hours a day for your company, you do represent your company twenty four hours a day. If you are going to be a Top Performer, there can be no question about your loyalty in three areas. You must be loyal to yourself, to those with whom you live and work, and to your organization.

Kris Dhanam’s grouping of the following words sums up the message:

Plan with attitude

Prepare with aptitude,

Participate with servitude,

Receive with gratitude, and this should be enough to

Separate you from the multitudes.

PERFORMANCE PRINCIPLES

1. Loyalty begins with loyalty to self.

2. You cannot consistently perform in a manner that is inconsistent with the way you see yourself.

3. Make every effort to be perceived as the most capable, not the most visible.

4. The greatest enemy of excellence is good.

5. If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all.

6. Support your organization or go to work for an organization you can support.

7.      “People Just Don’t Care…”

One learns people through the heart, not the eyes or the intellect. – Mark Twain.

“People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care…about them.”

Part 2 The Science of Top Performance

            “Science is organized knowledge. – Herbert Spencer.

8.      “But I  Thought You Said…”

Precision of communication is important, more important than ever, in our era of hair-trigger balances, when a false or misunderstood word may create as much disaster as a sudden thoughtless act. – James Thurber

            In this chapter, we will examine some of the problem areas that inhibit communication, review some of the rules for better communication, and take a closer look at specific situations, such as public speaking and meetings, in order to maximize effective communication. Finally, we’ll see how communication plays a part in creating a work environment that is conducive to productivity.

            The 12 vital skill areas of communication: These areas are appearance, posture, gestures, eye contact, facial expressions, voice, padding, involvement, handling of questions, humor, introducing others, and visual aids.

            The difference between Oral and Written Language:

·         Spoken language must be easily and instantly understandable to the listener. If the listener misunderstands, he cannot go back and reread.

·         Spoken language should be more repetitive. It is important to rephrases several times key ideas you want the listeners to take away with them.

·         Spoken language should be simpler in structure than written language.

·         Figurative language adds life and color to spoken words. Colorful, descriptive words can turn an otherwise colorless phrase into a memorable one. Lincoln described a nation “conceived in liberty.” Kennedy spoke of freedom as a “torch passed to a new generation.” CBS wordsmith Charles Osgood said “Compared to the spoken word a picture is a pitiful thing indeed.”

PERFORMANCE PRINCIPLES

1. Miscommunication, poor communication, or no communication will create problems.

2. Get involved in communication training that teachers both sides of communication process – speaking and listening.

9.      Recognizing, Rewarding, and Role Modeling for Top Performance

The greatest humiliation in life is to work on something from which you xpect great appreciation, and then fail to get it.  – Edgar Watson Howe.

Three aspects of successful management:

1. Recognition

“Thank you.” but added, “You know, I want to tell you how much I appreciate the good service you’re giving us. It’s amazing how you work so efficiently and yet don’t seem to be in any kind of hurry. More important, you’re so pleasant and gracious, and I just want you to know I appreciate your efforts.” She beamed broadly, thanked me for my comments, and said I had made her day.

            I pointed out that she was a human being, and, like everyone else, she wanted appreciation and sincere interest, and I had given her both of these things.  …I believe in helping others to become Top Performers by teaching them to be thoughtful, kind and considerate of the other person, we are teaching them to dig deeper and get a bigger scoop out of life.

            The Wall Street Journal carried an article by Jack Falvey: “To Raise Productivity, Try Saying Thank You.” 

            “Here are few things you can do right now with no increase in budget, but with big returns: Set up informal visits with your people. Listen and use your eyes to pick up on what is going on. Don’t look for problems, look for strengths and things done well. Make something out of every positive thing you can find. As a manager, your words and actions carry impact much greater than you expect. Just a small effort with these techniques will have an almost immediate effect. A concentrated, disciplined, and sustained thrust in these directions will produce incredible returns. Publish everything positive you can find. Print is cheap. Its rewards are long lasting. Put positive notes on solid productive efforts and send them back to the producers….

            “As simple and straightforward as all this is , it is really a tremendously difficult professional challenge. Just how good are you as a professional manager? If results are produced by committed people, just how much time and interest can you spread around to build that commitment and get those results? Go do something nice for someone or say something nice to someone right now.

            Most managers would like to have employees and coworkers who take pride in their careers. Lets look at a workable definition for our purposes: PRIDE is Personal Responsibility In Daily Effort.

            To develop Top Performers:

            The Top Performers in the world are builders, doers, and competitors, and wants to, and even need to, make a contribution to whatever they do. They must know when they are contributing and how much they are contributing. Those who manage Top Performers develop a “scoring” system that keep everyone informed of how they are doing.

            We must teach them how to be enthusiastic about life, how to graciously deal with other people, and how to encourage others.

2. Rewards

            “Usually when we think of rewarding people, we think of money.” “Today’s fringe benefits are tomorrow’s expectations.”  But the Good news is… it doesn’t have to be Real money. “I Can” and “PLA Money” ( Positive Life Attitude for America Money) 100 “I Can” is awarded a “I Can” T-shirt.

3. Role Models

            Three A’s for Excellence: Attitude- Excellence is a mindset. You must believe. Aggressiveness – The search for excellence is a top-to-bottom aggressive process. Appearance – a visual manifestation of attitude and aggressiveness.

PERFORMANCE PRINCIPLES

1. Everyone needs recognition

2. Pride – Personal Responsibility In Daily Effort.

3. Outstanding recognition programs recognize the qualities that are pertinent to company and individual success and reward these qualities.

4. The three A’s for Excellence are: Attitude, Aggressiveness, Appearance.

10.  Getting to Know You…and Me, Too!

The primary skill of a manager consists of knowing how to make assignments and picking the right people to carry out those assignments. – Lee Iacocca.

Top Performers know themselves and know how to deal effectively with different personality types.

            A personality analysis is a voyage in “self” and “Other” Discovery.

4 Categories of Personality:

1. Aggression – “doers” “steely-eyed” (stern and intense) expression and clenched fists that pound the table for emphasis) “stride” rather than walk, and they always seem to be going somewhere with a purpose and in a hurry. You motivate them by challenging them and granting them authority.

2. People – slow to speak out and at times is suspicious of the motives of others. He is usually very conscientious about the way he handles himself in the social and work environment and is careful about his appearance. You motivate by providing a work environment free from social contacts. Allow this to think out a problem by himself. He is at best on projects requiring logical analysis. Superficial and loud people really turn him off. This congenial though rather reserve can be quite a problem solver, but uncomfortable in solving “people” problems. He is spontaneous, enthusiastic, friendly, and good at persuading others to join him, poised, charming, emotional, and optimistic, he is with ready smile and relaxed and friendly, expressive with arms and hands, he pats you hug you.

3. Patience – usually actively involved and prefers an unstructured environment. Frustrated by status quo and invites change, impulsive, ready to move about, and good at initiation, excitable and anxious to get the job done. You motivate him by giving him a variety of activities and the freedom to move about on the job. The nervous energy he brings to the work force can be very positive when channeled, but if left undirected, anxiety, nervousness, and tension will result. The strength of this person lies in the initiative to be willing to take. His weakness when he initiates so many projects that none are completed. They have “sit ability” They are recognized for being kind, patient, quiet, disciplined, and service oriented; willing to listen to others and friendly countenances. Appear to be relaxed; body movement smooth and effortless. To motivate them give time to adjust, few changes, no surprises. Turn off by pressure placed upon them. These people are loyal, deliberate, sincere, hardworking, consistent, and dependable. They are team players.

4. Quality – strong willed (a nice way of saying stubborn); independent and couldn’t care less about details. You motivate by letting them do a job their own way and granting autonomy; persistent and will stick to a chosen course of action;  They are known for conscientiousness and concern for details; intuitive and sensitive to the environment; cautious individuals insist on competence and accuracy; You recognize them as thinkers who are seeking facts and uncomfortable with those who easily show emotions. Motivate them by giving personal attention, exact job descriptions, controlled work environment.; as part of a team, provide solid, tangible evidence for your position in discussions, you can win a friend. They are normally mature, accurate, logical, precise folks with high standards; take strength to the length that they become weaknesses, they over analyze and get “paralysis of analysis” and be come inflexible and bound by procedures and methods.

Aggression                 People             Patience          Quality

10 Direct                     Enthusiastic     Predictable      Perfectionist

  9 Daring                    Persuasive       Relaxed           Accurate

  8 Risk Taking            Emotional Nondemonstrative Systematic

  7 Decisive                 Trusting           Deliberate        Consciousness

  6 Competitive           Sociable           Stable            High Standards

Midline

  5 Calculated Risk Taking      Reflective  Outgoing  Opinionated

  4 Self- critical            Factual                        Eager               Persistent

  3 Weighs +/-              Controlled       Fidgety            Independent

  2 Peaceful                 Self-conscious Restless           Rigid

  1 Quiet                      Suspicious       Active             Firm

______________________________________________________

PERFORMANCE PRINCIPLES

1. The more I understand myself, the more effective I can work with others.

2. Personality profiles are valuable tools for getting the round pegs into the round holes and the square pegs into the square holes.

3. Self-evaluation (with a scientific tool) is more valuable than self-condemnation.

4. Our weaknesses are often extensions of our strengths.

5. There are no good/bad, right/wrong profiles – they simply hop us evaluate where we are so we can determine where we want to go.

6. You are what you are and where you are because of what has gone into your mind; you change what you are and where you are by changing what goes around your mind.

11.  Managing Gems

Find the essence of each situation, like a logger clearing a logjam. The pro climbs a tall tree and locates the key log, blows it, and lets the stream do the rest. An amateur would start at the edge of the jam and move all the logs, eventually moving the key log. Both approaches work, but the “essence” concept saves time and effort. Almost all problems have a “key” log if we learn to find it. – Fred Smith.

Formula for Top Performance Management

1. Show honest and sincere appreciation at every opportunity – make the other person feel important.
2. Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain.
3. Make your cause bigger than your ego.
4. Work for progress, not perfection.
5. Be solution conscious, not problem oriented.
6. Invest time in the activity that brings the highest return on investment according to the priority list of responsibilities – effort alone doesn’t count; results are the reasons for activity.
7. Fulfilling responsibility is a good reason for work; discipline is the method.
8. Recognize and accept your own weaknesses.
9. Make checklists and constantly refer to them.
10. Always show the people in your life the humility of gratitude.

Six Action Steps for Performance-Oriented Managers

1. Give regular, specific, and observable behavior feedback on performance.
2. Respect the lines of communication and authority.
3. Make timely decisions.
4. Be accessible.
5. Encourage creative ideas.
6. Provide personal support.

The Ten “Double Win” Rules That Lead to Top Team Performance

            When dealing with others:

1. Remember that a smile is the most powerful social tool we have at our disposal.
2. Listening is the most neglected skill in business (or home) today. The person who listens control the final outcome of the discussion. Encourage others to talk, and then consciously remove any barriers to your good listening skills.
3. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests. You will find a “uniqueness” and “specialness” in every individual you meet. Others are interesting when discovered; check out the other person’s point of view.
4. Ask questions you already know the answer to and you will get to see the other person’s perspective. Most ideas are more palatable if we “discover” them ourselves. People who truly care about others lead them down the “discovery path.”
5. “What you are speaks so loudly I can’t hear what you say.” Remember to model the behavior and attitude you want the other person to have.
6. Give assignments that allow you to express faith and confidence that the other person can successfully perform in the task assigned.
7. Always make requests; never give orders.
8. Develop your ability to use the narrative story and the meaningful analogy – these are powerful teaching tools.
9. Always be respectful of others. Show your respect by being on time for meetings or letting others know why you must be late.
10. Return phone calls, e-mails, and letters immediately – there is no excuse for not doing so.

Exploding Some “Management Myths”

1. Manipulation and motivation are often the same thing. Absolutely not! Manipulation is getting people to act for you in ways that may not necessarily be for their own good. Motivation is helping people recognize mutual interests and getting them to join the “cause” because there is a benefit for them as well as you.
2. Making your best effort is all that really counts. No! Too many people substitute effort for accomplishment. The reason for working is to get results. The person who gets the most results with less effort is working smarter and harder. Fatigue is not an indicator of success.
3. Delegation is the key to management success. Wrong again! Delegation is not telling someone what you want, when you want it, and how it is to be done. This is direction. Delegation means assigning the results you expect and designing a follow-up system that allows you to inspect what you expect. New employees get direction; experienced employees get delegation. Determining which employees need direction, giving it to them, and delegating results and the authority to get those results is an important key to management success.
4. Managers are normally superior physically, mentally, and spiritually. Nope! Very few managers are “normal”! And, there is nothing in the books that says a manager is a “superior.” Very simply put, managers are people willing to take responsibility and work through others to achieve results. Are you trying to be a “supervisor” or “superworker”?
5. Managers must control all circumstances. No way! Managers deal with problems and situations, and there is a distinct difference between the two. A situation exists because you cannot control it – people get ulcers trying to control the uncontrollable. A problem is something you can take action on. Excellent managers learn the difference between the two, take action on problems, and stop worrying about situations.

Your Challenge

            There really are no “great revelations” in this brief summary chapter. However, professionals don’t need to be told, but they are glad to be reminded. If you will read these few pages every day for twenty-one days, your career will be greatly enhanced by the principles you will be putting into action.

PERFORMANCE PRINCIPLES

            1. Reread the principles listed in this chapter daily for twenty-one days!

Part 3 Motivating the Top Performer

            It is motive alone that gives character to the actions of men – Bruyere

12.  A Formula for Motivation

You can‘t sweep people off their feet if you can’t be swept off your own. – Clarence Day.

What percentage of the bad things you expect to happen actually happen?

“About 5 to 10 percent of them.”

“In other words, over 90 percent of the time the expected negative events just don’t happen. This is realistic and, according to experts, factual. From my perspective the conclusion is obvious. It’s completely unrealistic to be negative and totally realistic to be positive.” However it is unrealistic to deny that problems do exist, so let’s take a serious look at a major problem and then look at some positive solutions:

Bridging the Gap

            The key is to be solution conscious and not problem oriented. Lists of action steps to decrease employee dissatisfaction and increase good employee/employer relationships:

            Show respect for a job well done. Get rid of second-class job citizenship regardless of pay differences. Real job equality is feeling we have a stake in our company’s success.

            Involve employees. This means providing opportunities to make decisions and give useful input. This does not mean surrendering basic decision-making powers. It does mean giving employees a chance to participate, to be involved, and to be held accountable.

            As a company leader, keep skid chains on your tongue. Talking about others may be destructive and probably is just gossip unless it’s specifically designed to help.

            Cultivate a calm, persuasive voice. How you say it is often more important than what you say. In any type of discussion or confrontation, your objective is to “win them over” …not “win over them.”

            Make certain you are short on promises to your people and long on fulfillment. Action does speak louder than words.

            Be interested in the goals, welfare, homes, and families of those with whom you work. People have many facets in their lives. Don’t be a one-dimensional supervisor. You may not supervise their private lives, but you can let them know you really care.

            Keep an open mind on all debatable questions (being the boss doesn’t necessarily mean you are always right). Discuss but don’t argue. The mark of superior minds is the ability to disagree without being disagreeable.

            Be careful of employees’ feelings. Wit, put-down, and any form of ethnic or racial digs are no-nos. Leaders instinctively know that when someone is resentful and has a chip on his shoulder, the best way to remove the chip is to let him take a bow.

In summary, what researchers and their statistics say is very important; however, what they don’t say is even more important: What the workforce really wants is management leadership whose competence and concern they can trust.

            Andrew Carnegie: “A man can succeed at almost anything for which he has unlimited enthusiasm.” Regardless of how we define unlimited enthusiasm, it usually includes motivation, desire, drive, optimism, hope, faith, and energy. People who are unable to motivate themselves must be content with the status quo no matter how impressive their resume looks.

Our Wasted Time

            One shocking statistic that cost America and its people a great deal of money and countless opportunities is the incredible amount of time that is wasted, or even stolen. August, 1999 report by Michael G. Kessler & Associates showed that a survey of over 500 employees across the nation found that almost 87 % of those surveyed admitted to falsifying time sheets.

            “What do you believe are the main reasons for procrastination in business?”

            Lack of communication

            Low morale

            Lack of interest in the job or particular task

            Absence of clear-cut goals or objectives

            Lack of discipline

            Poor self-esteem

            Too many people get carried away with “tyranny of the urgent” and permit the “urgent” things to crowd out the “important” things.. Basically, we have a prioritizing problem and not a time problem.

What happens to these effective people who take their jobs seriously and use their time wisely? They get promoted.

The Successful Know about Attitude

            Allan Cox : No one with whom leaders deal is given less time and consideration than the negative thinker.

An Important Gift You Can Give Others

            One of the most important and positive things we can give others is hope with direction, encouragement, and believability – hope that the future is going to be bright for them, regardless of where they are at the moment.

Where You Start Is Not Important

            Where you finish is much more important.

Can Motivation Affect Where you Finish?

Yes, motivation can and does impact where you finish in life.

Can You “Stand” Motivated?

            Speaking at the National Federation of Parents for Drug-Free Youth, the response was very gratifying. The audience laughed at appropriate places, nodded in agreement at the right spots, applauded at the high spots, and give me an enthusiastic standing ovation when it was all over. Compliments flowed thick and fast. In short, it was an “up” occasion for me. The next morning in a restaurant waiting for the host to seat the guest who preceded me. I was quietly standing, awaiting his return. As I stood there, three women who had been present at my talk the night before joined the people who were waiting in line behind me. They were whispering, here’s the conversation: First lady; “There is our speaker from last night.” Second lady; “Yes, and he is obviously a ‘night’ person!” Third lady; “He must be, because he sure doesn’t look motivated to me!”

            I don’t know how you either “look” motivated or “stand” motivated.

Just Who Is Motivated?

            Unfortunately too many people think of the “motivated” person as the loudly enthusiastic, turned-on extrovert who is making noise and is the center of attention, whether he is in a crowd of ten or ten thousand. This is not necessarily motivation, but probably falls under the banner of “hysteria,” and hysteria is giving motivation a bad reputation….Some of the most ‘up’ and motivated people I’ve ever known are quiet and unassuming. Obvious point: You can be ‘up” and motivated while quietly jogging, reading, praying, thinking, holding hands with your mate, or even sleeping.

            The “up” experience at the botanical gardens along the Brisbane River in Brisbane, Australia where the greenery, shrubs, flowers, rocks, plants, birds, boats, water, and people were beautiful, fascinating, and quiet. It was definitely an ‘up” experience and is permanently recorded in my memory bank as a most enjoyable, motivating interlude. This kind of meditation will help eliminate lots of medication.

PERFORMANCE PRINCIPLES

1.      You must understand motivation to motivate others consistently.

2.      Management’s imperative is to cultivate its human resources.

3.      What the workforce really wants is management leadership whose competence and concern they can trust.

4.      One of the most important things we can give others is hope with direction, encouragement, and believability.

5.      Where you start is not as important as where you finish.

6.      You can be “up” without being “on.”

13.  Why You Manage…Why They Follow

The True motives of our actions, like the real pipes of an organ, are usually concealed. But the gilded and the hallow pretext is pompously placed in the front for show. – Charles Caleb Colton.

The Four- A Formula to develop motivation  = Awareness, Assumption, Analysis, Action

The first A – Awareness. Is answering the question Why? It is the answer to your personal motivation. This is not an impost upon you by anyone else; it’s your personal motivation.

One of the early success writers suggested we take the word motivation and make a slash between the v and the a – and if you’ve got just a little bit of imagination, you can see two words. The word on the left is motive, and the word on the right is action. People who are motivated have a motive; they have a reason, purpose, or a cause. And then they take action on that reason, purpose, or cause.

Types of Motivation

Fear Motivation works for some people some of the time. In most cases it is temporary, but there are occasions when it is effective. It keep workers in line and help them become team players and cooperate with, and on occasion even be subservient to, their superiors. But again, the results are temporary and over the long haul can even backfire.

Incentive Motivation is like a donkey pulling a cart with a carrot dangling in front of him. However, if he does not eventually have his bite of carrot, he’s going to recognize that it’s a “con game,” and he will stop pulling. The problem in the business world we have a load that is fairly well dictated by market conditions and , if you lighten it too much, or if you give the donkey too big a bite of the carrot (or the profit generated by the free enterprise system), the operation is no longer profitable and we ultimately end up out of business. Remember: Today’s fringe benefits are tomorrow’s expectations. So what do you do? Answer: Change the donkey to a Thoroughbred and make him want to run.

Change or Growth Motivation – The primary purpose is to change the thinking, the capacity, and the motivation of the worker. We must make him want to pull the cart (do his job). We must give him reasons for doing what we want him to do and what he wants to do. In other words, we must work with employees to the degree that we can help them get the things they want in life. THAT’S A MAJOR PURPOSE OF TOP PERFORMANCE -  TO GIVE SPECIFIC METHODS, PROCEDURES, AND TECHNIQUES FOR HELPING EACH INDIVIDUAL GROW AND INSPIRING THEM SO THEY WILL WANT TO DO A BETTER JOB – NOT JUST THE BENEFIT OF THE COMPANY BUT FOR THEIR OWN BENEFIT AS WELL.

Money and Position Won’t Make You Happy

Many people say, “When I get a million dollars, then I’ll be happy because I’ll have security,” but that’s not necessarily so. Most people who acquire a million dollars want another and then another.

Gen. Douglas MacArthur said that security lies in our ability to produce – and I believe he’s right.

PERFORMANCE PRINCIPLES

1.      Do you know why you do what you do?

2.      Motivation – the motives we take action on.

3.      Happiness is not a where or when, it is a here and now.

4.      To motivate yourself, identify your motives and take action on them; to motivate others, identify their motives and encourage them to take action.

14.  Managing Productivity

A man without a purpose is like a ship without a rudder – Thomas Carlyle

The second A in the Formula stands for Assumptions. –

Krish Dharnam

Assumptions about people and their productivity are usually made after awareness and before analysis. Most managers make assumptions about their abilities and capabilities of the people they lead.

To effectively motivate people, you have to deal with the assumptions about what is and what is not. The adage that in most organizations perception is fact and fact is never really fact rings true.

Societal and Cultural Assumptions

Experience-Based Assumptions

Age and Gender Assumptions

Personality-Based Assumptions

Bryan Flanagan

Managerial Assumptions

The value of the “inner view” (a view that goes beyond what seems obvious to me)

The value of conducting an “Inner view” The purpose of the ‘inner view” is to gain insight into your teammates so that you can assist them in reaching their goals and objectives. This require time and dedication. It requires that you invest time getting to know your people as people and not as units of production! It requires that you dedicate yourself to understanding their needs, their issues, and their concerns.

Caution: This is not to be use as a performance review or appraisal or a reprimand process. But to be used as to gain insights into your people so that you can provide feedback and encouragement. It work in three stages:

First, you should schedule time with the individual. This can be done off site – at a coffee shop, at lunch, or at a neutral location in the office.

Second, during the meeting you must condition yourself to ask open-ended questions and listen to the responses. You must turn you full attention on the other person for this process to be effective. The core of the meeting is to ask a focusing question; What are your goals?

Third, you must use the information in a helpful way to provide feedback

PERFORMANCE PRINCIPLES

1.      Assumptions are the cornerstone for miscommunication.

2.      Don’t assume that people are units of production, wanting what you want. Ask – get the ‘inner view.”

15.  Education to Overcome Management Paralysis

Only the educated are free – Epictetus

The third A in the Formula is Analysis. When I/m talking about analysis, I’m talking about Education. The tree immobilizers are fear, doubt,  and  worry. FEAR – False Evidence Appearing Real.

A Challenge for You

If you have the courage to write down your fears, doubts, and worries, Out of the ten items you listed, seven or eight will already have happened nor cannot happen. Of the remaining items, you have absolutely no control over one or two of them. And you will find that only one or two items are within you control.

Why do we fail to focus our energies on solvable problems? We are creatures of habit. We have an everyday routine that we are involved in, and if the routine is changed, it upsets us and can even spoil our whole day.

Unfortunately, one of our most destructive habits is griping, complaining, and moaning. MOST PEOPLE WOULD RATHER COMPLAIN THAN SUCCEED.

Negative Use of the Imagination

Our corporate purpose, our reason for being in business, is to help people recognize, develop, and use their abilities. One of the vehicles we use to accomplish this is the I CAN course.

The same way you and I overcome our fears, doubts, and worries – through analysis and education.

Managing Motivation Education

Think of the impact of the simple, direct words have had on our society! I know many of our problems are complex, but I believe a simple (not simplistic), direct approach, worded in simple, understandable terms is the best and most effective way to get results.

A Top Performer with Real Education

“It’s not who’s right, but what’s right.” And If you’ve got the right person, what they’re going to be doing is going to be right.”

PERFORMANCE PRINCIPLES

1.      Without the proper education, fear, doubt, and worry will immobilize you and your associates.

2.      Once a need is satisfied, it is no longer a motivator. Satisfaction does not increase motivation.

3.      Management Assumptions + Management Attitudes = Management Behavior.

16.  The Secret to Management Motivation

Action often precedes the feeling – Anonymous.

The fourth A in the Four A Formula is Action. You are a person of action.

Now here’s that powerfully magic statement:

Logic will not change an emotion, but action will!

Or, phrased in another way:

Action often precedes the feeling!

You’ve Heard It Before – Take One Step at a Time

The Chinese were right: A journey of a thousand leagues begins with a single step.

What’s Holding You Back?

Let yourself go – give everything you have to your desire to win before the crisis passes. It will be the best performance you ever produced because of the emotional steam behind it. Every crisis offers you extra desired power.

Personal Conviction: Positive Thinking and Positive Believing

When we talk about being people of action, we recognize that action takes courage

The value system of the four leg on a stool.

The first leg is love of product

The second leg is love of the customer.

The third leg is love of art and beauty.

The fourth leg is dignity of the individual.

The solution would lie within the answer of two more questions: (1) Is the customer happy? (2) Are we making the best possible product?

Positive believing is the same optimistic hope as positive thinking, but it is based on solid reasons for believing you can move mountains or accomplish other seemingly impossible tasks. I’ve seen positive believers accomplish far more than positive thinkers. Positive believers have even more enthusiasm than positive thinkers, even when things are not going well at the moment.

Positive thinking is always important, and it certainly will enable you to accomplish more than negative thinking will – but positive thinking will. That’s why in Top Performance we give so many steps, procedures, and actions to follow so that, as a leader and as a manager, you move more and more into the positive-believing realm.

Teamwork and Process Improvement

 

CEO

Management

Team Players

Customers

Fig: A                                                  Fig: B

                                   

Teamwork and process improvement are two pillars upon which an inverted organization can stand.

Values

Vision – The belief that one person can do something great is a myth. – John Maxwell

Victories – No one of us is more important than the rest of us. – Rey Kroc.

Process Improvement

A simple motto to follow to ensure that all processes are considered important to an organization’s financial health is:

1.      Do the right thing.

2.      Do it right the first time.

3.      Do it right now.

4.      Do it at the right price.

In order to establish yourself as an organization that a Top Performer you need to add these six criteria to your system to give you the value edge in today’s marketplace.

1.      Identify what’s important to your internal and external customer. A) Ask your internal customers how you can improve. B) Ask your external customers what they want through focus group methodologies.

2.      Take time out of your schedule to really understand the components of every process in your organization. The consulting firm of Rath and Strong estimates that only 1 percent of the total process time is spent on steps that are important to the customer.

3.      Assign the cost component or value of each of the steps of a given process to an organization’s bottom line. Fortunately, studies have suggested that as much as 75 percent of the lost time can be reclaimed.

4.      Mandate the need for and the importance of internal process management champions. Experience has shown that at least 75 percent of the steps making up any process are not beneficial from the customer’s perspective. As such they are costly steps and need to be reduced or eliminated.

5.      Reduce or eliminate unnecessary steps and processes.

6.      Serve your customer’s customer.

What Makes a Top Performer?

1. Understanding Why You Work
2. Working with Unconditional Loyalty
3. Doing More Than You Are Asked to Do.
4. Be Patient and You Will Be Rewarded
5. The Corner Office is Not Something You Deserve
6. Lifting Someone Up Causes You To Rise.

PERFORMANCE PRINCIPLES

1.      More people act their way into thinking than think their way into acting.

2.      Logic won’t change an emotion, but action will.

3.      Action often precedes the feeling.

4.      If the first three principles sound a great deal alike, congratulations! You are catching on!

17.  It Takes Time

There can be no persevering industry without a deep sense of the value of time. – Lydia H. Sigourney

            The unfortunate truth is that far too many executives are so gung ho and goal oriented from a career point of view that they often lose perspective and balance as far as their spiritual, personal, family, and social lives are concerned.

            Take Time to Grow

            We emphasized the necessity of personal growth for maximum business success. It’s true, the companies “on the go” are also “on the grow.” Individually you need to take time to grow.

            Take Time to be Healthy

            Taking care of our bodies is a reasonably simple routine. I did not say “easy” There are several factors involved :

            Proper nutrition

            Exercise

            Sensible diet

            Eliminate the negatives

            Take time to Play

            Most of the gung ho business men and women I know set goals on acquiring new cars, getting promotions, having a certain amount of money in the bank, living at a certain residence, acquiring some educational degree, achieving that plateau of accomplishment, excelling in this area.

            Take time to Be Quiet

            Regardless of our natures, all of us need to take time to be quiet.

            Take Time for Those You Love

            Yeah – but Where Do I Get the Energy?

            PERFORMANCE PRINCIPLES

1.      Take time to get started.

2.      Take time to grow.

3.      Take time to be healthy.

4.      Take time to play.

5.      Take time to be quiet.

6.      Take time for those you love.

Epilogue: A Unique Opportunity

The opportunity to benefit many people is great.

The Penalty of leadership : The leader is assailed because he is a leader, and the effort to equal him is merely added proof of that leadership. Failing to equal or to excel, the follower seeks to depreciate and to destroy – but only confirms once more the superiority of that which he strives to supplant.

Yes, leadership has its penalties, but fortunately, it also has its rewards. Here’s hoping – and believing – that the principles taught in Top Performance will help you reap those rewards.