- Security - from seeing a mother and dad in love with each other and them;
- A sense of belonging - having the kind of family life that is fun to be in;
- Desire to accomplish - being praised for what they do well, and encouraged in their interests;
- Freedom from fear;
- Freedom from guilt - by learning to live clean lives before God and get things right that go wrong;
- LOVE - to be accepted for what they are and encouraged to the best;
- Knowledge of truth, to know what is real in a world filed with hypocritical living and speaking. They must thus -
- Be taught truth by word AND example. The child needs to be able to trust his parents implicitly. Nothing false or unreal should be told children that later discovery will fix doubt of the parent's trustworthiness in their minds. Such fables as "Santa," "fairies," "the stork brought you here," etc. may be pleasant little fantasies but can harm (Psalm 51:6; 78:4-8; Proverbs 12:19-22; Isaiah 26:2; Ephesians 4:15; 3 John 4; 1 Timothy 4:7).
- NOT be pampered. Children should feel loved and wanted, but never be worshiped or indulged. Let them understand their rightful place in the family with its privileges AND responsibilities. If parents foolishly worship heir child and treat baby as if it is the most important person in the world (no matter how much i may SEEM to be at the time!) they will deserve later displays of selfishness and rebellion. When a child misbehaves or sins, it should be corrected in love. For first-time wrongs, reproof should take the form of stern advice. Second-time wrongs then should always be punished after explanation and NEVER in anger. The parent's punishment should not be to take out their feelings on the on the child, but to correct him for wrong. All teaching is best done by EXAMPLE. Whenever possible TAKE TIME to undo any selfish habits, showing him right ways of repentance - confession, restitution, asking forgiveness, etc. Begin EARLY Where such training and reproofs are resisted, stern physical punishment should be given; hard enough to hurt but not to damage. It is never "love" to deny a child a whipping for doing wrong in the face of a family law made under God. (Proverbs 13:14; 22:6; 31:27-29; 1 Thessalonians 2:7)
- Respond to AUTHORITY. The child will learn to obey God first of all by learning to obey his parents. God's plan for the growing child is to teach him to respond to those who are best in a position to direct and guide his life. God's whole Kingdom is built on a chain of authority headed by Himself. The Centurion recognized this fact when he came to Jesus for the healing of his servant(Matthew 8:5-10). God is ruler over kings and all those in civil authority (Daniel 4:17, 25; Psalm 75:7; Romans 13:1-7; 1 Peter 2:13-14). Parents are all responsible through these ultimately to God, and must not disobey civil or national law. In each home, Christ is to be head of the family. The husband is to be the head of the wife; the children are to obey their parents (Ephesians 5:22-24, 33; 1 Peter 3:1-2; Titus 2:4-5). No child has any right to disobey the law of his parents as long as he is under their care whether they are SAVED OR NOT! The ONLY exception is an order from a parent that specifically contradicts at the law of God, or one to clearly commit sin. Untold volumes could have been written on the bad attitudes and heartbreak caused by the failure to obey family rules in the delusion that salvation for the child has to be totally excluded them from any need to obey their unsaved parents' instructions. Disobedience to those God has allowed to be your "bosses" is rebellion ultimately against God HIMSELF! No matter how badly your your parents may carry out their home and family duties, you are before the Lord bound to obey. Leave all other restrictions in the hands of the Lord (Prov. 21:1;6:20-23; 10:17; 13:8; 15:5, 31-32; 1 Sam. 15:22; Eph. 6:1; Col. 3:20).
- Taught to live God-centered lives. The moment a child is old enough to understand sin, he is old enough to be converted to Christ. Children can be taught to be unselfish, to trust in the spiritual rather than material riches of life and encourage early to surrender their lives to the Lord Jesus. A respect for God and His commandments, honour to parents and elders and a way of life that is decent, cheerful, honest and hardworking can all be fixed at an early age into the child's heart, if parents will only take time to love and teach their children the right path. "Train up a child in the way that he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it" (Deuteronomy 32:46-47; 11:18-19; Prov. 22:6; Matt. 21:16; Eph. 5:1).
