Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Envy and Jealousy-the destructive emotions, how to control it?



 
Envy and Jealousy is a very broad topic and is so interesting because we all feel and is capable of these emotions. We are sometimes ashamed and shy to admit it but it is real and must be controlled.  This study will deal it Biblically, Psychologically with the help of some links and with other individuals who have experienced and have overcome this natural yet destructive force, if left unchecked and uncontrolled may destroy the possessor and the object of it.
 There are Godly jealousy which is holy and is in the right place but there are jealousy that is the fruit of the Old nature, or the flesh and must be corrected.
Many churches, organizations, individuals have been destroyed by this emotion that we must deal with it before we are burn by its fury and many are suffering and with Satan's help destroy testimonies, lives, even result to unnecessary death and untold destruction.
Gal 5:19  Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness,
Gal 5:20  Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies,
Gal 5:21  Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.

"We are made in God's image, every emotion of God exists in us and has an opposite i.e., there is a distinction to be made between Godly and ungodly emotions e.g., God hates, and we are to hate the things he hates i.e., sin not other people. JEALOUSY & ENVY: JEALOUSY guards what it possesses even if what it possesses does not rightfully belong to it: An example of jealousy in its negative form is King Saul and David (1 Samuel); Even though Saul remained King the anointing he 'possessed', was God's, he realised that God had anointed another person David, to be King of Israel and so went all out to guard his crown jealously by attempting to Kill David. Ungodly jealousy is controlling and abusive but in a godly way it is protective (see Corinthians 11:2). Godly ENVY is excited by the prosperity of others, it is used positively to encourage and motivate you to reach your own goals. In its sinful state envy is begrudging and wants what belongs to others, what they have or enjoy; an example of this type of envy is Joseph and his brothers who wanted to kill him and in Matthew 27:17-18 Jesus was handed over for crucifixion because the leaders of the time envied him. Jealousy and envy are related, and they often overlap e.g., You could say that Joseph's brothers also had the love of their father Jacob but jealousy made them possessive of Jacob's love toward Joseph (the baby brother) who seemed to have taken father's love from them. However, they also recognised a special love between Joseph and their father, something unique that they did not possess, so they envied Joseph and hated him for it."(Anon.)
 
God's Jealousy is related to worship!
 
For thou shall worship no other god,.... Than the Lord their God, the one only living and true God, which was the first command given to the people of Israel, and binding upon all men:

for the Lord whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God; his name and nature answer to one another; he admits of no rival or competitor in worship; he will not give his glory to another god, or one so called, nor his praise to graven images; and in this he is distinguished from all nominal and fictitious gods, who have many joined with them, and are rivals of them, which gives them no concern, because insensible; but it is otherwise with the Lord, who knows the dishonour done him, and resents it, and is as jealous of any worship being given to another, as the husband is of the honour of his marriage bed; for idolatry is spiritual adultery, as is suggested in the following verse.
Exo_20:5  Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me;
Exo_34:14  For thou shalt worship no other god: for the LORD, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God:
Deu_4:24  For the LORD thy God is a consuming fire, even a jealous God.
Deu_5:9  Thou shalt not bow down thyself unto them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me,
Deu_6:15  (For the LORD thy God is a jealous God among you) lest the anger of the LORD thy God be kindled against thee, and destroy thee from off the face of the earth.
Jos_24:19  And Joshua said unto the people, Ye cannot serve the LORD: for he is an holy God; he is a jealous God; he will not forgive your transgressions nor your sins.
1Ki_19:10  And he said, I have been very jealous for the LORD God of hosts: for the children of Israel have forsaken thy covenant, thrown down thine altars, and slain thy prophets with the sword; and I, even I only, am left; and they seek my life, to take it away.
1Ki_19:14  And he said, I have been very jealous for the LORD God of hosts: because the children of Israel have forsaken thy covenant, thrown down thine altars, and slain thy prophets with the sword; and I, even I only, am left; and they seek my life, to take it away.
Eze_39:25  Therefore thus saith the Lord GOD; Now will I bring again the captivity of Jacob, and have mercy upon the whole house of Israel, and will be jealous for my holy name;
Nah_1:2  God is jealous, and the LORD revengeth; the LORD revengeth, and is furious; the LORD will take vengeance on his adversaries, and he reserveth wrath for his enemies.





Envy(ISBE)
en´vi (קנאה, kīn'āh; ζῆλος, zḗlos, φθόνος, phthónos): “Envy,” from Latin in, “against,” and video, “to look,” “to look with ill-will,” etc., toward another, is an evil strongly condemned in both the Old Testament and the New Testament. It is to be distinguished from jealousy. “We are jealous of our own; we are envious of another man's possessions. Jealousy fears to lose what it has; envy is pained at seeing another have” (Crabb's English Synonyms). In the Old Testament it is the translation of ḳin'āh from kānā', “to redden,” “to glow” (Job_5:2, the Revised Version (British and American) “jealousy,” margin “indignation”; in Isa_26:11 the Revised Version (British and American) renders “see thy zeal for the people”; Pro_27:4, etc.); the verb occurs in Gen_26:14, etc.; Num_11:29 the King James Version; Psa_106:16; Pro_3:31, etc.; in the New Testament it is the translation of phthonos, “envy” (Mat_27:18; Rom_1:29; Gal_5:21, “envyings,” etc.); of zēlos, “zeal,” “jealousy,” “envy” (Act_13:45), translated “envying,” the Revised Version (British and American) “jealousy” (Rom_13:13; 1Co_3:3; 2Co_12:20; Jam_3:14, Jam_3:16); the verb phthonéō occurs in Gal_5:26; zēlóō in Act_7:9; Act_17:5, the Revised Version (British and American) “moved with jealousy”; 1Co_13:4, “charity (the Revised Version (British and American) “love”) envieth not.”
The power of envy is stated in Pro_27:4 : “Who is able to stand before envy?” (the Revised Version (British and American) “jealousy”); its evil effects are depicted in Job_5:2 (the Revised Version (British and American) “jealousy”), in Pro_14:30 (the Revised Version, margin “jealousy”); it led to the crucifixion of Christ (Mat_27:18; Mar_15:10); it is one of “the works of the flesh” (Gal_5:21; compare Rom_1:29; 1Ti_6:4); Christian believers are earnestly warned against it (Rom_13:13 the King James Version; 1Co_3:3 the King James Version; Gal_5:26; 1Pe_2:1). In Jam_4:5 “envy” is used in a good sense, akin to the jealousy ascribed to God. Where the King James Version has “The spirit that dwelleth in us lusteth to envy,” the Revised Version (British and American) reads “Doth the spirit which he made to dwell in us long unto envying?”; the American Revised Version, margin “The spirit which he made to dwell in us he yearneth for even unto jealous envy”; compare Jer_3:14; Hos_2:19 f; or the English Revised Version, margin “That spirit which he made to dwell in us yearneth (for us) even unto jealous envy.” This last seems to give the sense; compare “Ye adulteresses” (Hos_2:4), the American Revised Version, margin “That is, who break your marriage vow to God.”

Envy (R.A. Torrey)
Forbidden
Pro_3:31; Rom_13:13;

Produced by foolish disputation
1Ti_6:4;

Excited by good deeds of others
Ecc_4:4;

A work of the flesh
Gal_5:21; Jam_4:5;

Hurtful to the envious
Job_5:2; Pro_14:30;

None can stand before
Pro_27:4;

A proof of carnal-mindedness
1Co_3:1; 1Co_3:3;

Inconsistent with the gospel
Jam_3:14;

Hinders growth in grace
1Pe_2:1; 1Pe_2:2;

THE WICKED
Are full of
Rom_1:29;

Live in
Tit_3:3;

Leads to every evil work
Jam_3:16;

Prosperity of the wicked should not excite
Psa_37:1; Psa_37:35; Psa_73:3; Psa_73:17-20;

Punishment of
Isa_26:11;

Exemplified
Cain
Gen_4:5;

Philistines
Gen_26:14;

Laban's sons
Gen_31:1;

Joseph's brethren
Gen_37:11;

Joshua
Num_11:28; Num_11:29;

Aaron, &c
Num_12:2;

Korah, &c
Num_16:3; Psa_106:16;

Saul
1Sa_18:8;

Sanballat, &c
Neh_2:10;

Haman
Est_5:13;

Edomites
Eze_35:11;

Princes of Babylon
Dan_6:3; Dan_6:4;

Chief Priests
Mar_15:10;

Jews
Act_13:45; Act_17:5;


Jealousy(ISBE)
jel´us-i (קנאה, kin'āh; ζῆλος, zḗlos): Doubtless, the root idea of both the Greek and the Hob translated “jealousy” is “warmth,” “heat.” Both are used in a good and a bad sense - to represent right and wrong passion.
When jealousy is attributed to God, the word is used in a good sense. The language is, of course, anthropomorphic; and it is based upon the feeling in a husband of exclusive right in his wife. God is conceived as having wedded Israel to Himself, and as claiming, therefore, exclusive devotion. Disloyalty on the part of Israel is represented as adultery, and as provoking God to jealousy. See, e.g., Deu_32:16, Deu_32:21; 1Ki_14:22; Psa_78:58; Eze_8:3; Eze_16:38, Eze_16:42; Eze_23:25; Eze_36:5; Eze_38:19.
When jealousy is attributed to men, the sense is sometimes good, and sometimes bad. In the good sense, it refers to an ardent concern for God's honor. See, e.g., Num_25:11 (compare 1Ki_19:10; 2Ki_10:16); 2Co_11:2 (compare Rom_10:2). In the bad sense it is found in Act_7:9; Rom_13:13; 1Co_3:3; 2Co_12:20; Jam_3:14, Jam_3:16.
The “law of jealousy” is given in Nu 5:11-31. It provided that, when a man suspected his wife of conjugal infidelity, an offering should be brought to the priest, and the question of her guilt or innocence should be subjected to a test there carefully prescribed. The test was intended to be an appeal to God to decide the question at issue. See ADULTERY; SACRIFICE.

Jealousy(Nave's Topical Bible)
General references
Pro_6:34; Pro_27:4; Ecc_4:4; Son_8:6
Law concerning, when husband is jealous of his wife
Num 5:12-31
Image of
Eze_8:3-4
Attributed to God
General references
Exo_20:5; Exo_34:13-14; Num_25:11; Deu_29:20; Deu_32:16; Deu_32:21; 1Ki_14:22; Psa_78:58; Psa_79:5; Isa_30:1-2; Isa_31:1; Isa_31:3; Eze_16:42; Eze_23:25; Eze_36:5-6; Eze_38:19; Zep_1:18; Zep_3:8; Zec_1:14; Zec_8:2; 1Co_10:22
See Anthropomorphisms
A spirit of emulation
Rom_10:19; Rom_11:11
See Emulation; Envy
Figurative
2Co_11:2
Instances of:
Cain, of Abel
Gen_4:5-6; Gen_4:8
Sarah, of Hagar
Gen_16:5
Joseph's brethren, of Joseph
Gen_37:4-11; Gen_37:18-28
Saul, of David
1 Sam 18:8-30; 1 Sam 19:8-24; 1Sa_20:24-34
Joab, of Abner
2Sa_3:24-27
Nathan, of Adonijah
1Ki_1:24-26
Ephraimites, of Gideon
Jdg_8:1
Ephraimites, of Jephthah
Jdg_12:1
The brother, of the prodigal son
Luk_15:25-32
Sectional, between Israel and the tribe of Judah
2Sa_19:41-43


Bible Verses about ENVY:(19 verses)

Job_5:2  For wrath killeth the foolish man, and envy slayeth the silly one.
Pro_3:31  Envy thou not the oppressor, and choose none of his ways.
Pro_14:30  A sound heart is the life of the flesh: but envy the rottenness of the bones.
Pro_23:17  Let not thine heart envy sinners: but be thou in the fear of the LORD all the day long.
Pro_27:4  Wrath is cruel, and anger is outrageous; but who is able to stand before envy?
Ecc_9:6  Also their love, and their hatred, and their envy, is now perished; neither have they any more a portion for ever in any thing that is done under the sun.
Isa_11:13  The envy also of Ephraim shall depart, and the adversaries of Judah shall be cut off: Ephraim shall not envy Judah, and Judah shall not vex Ephraim.
Isa_26:11  LORD, when thy hand is lifted up, they will not see: but they shall see, and be ashamed for their envy at the people; yea, the fire of thine enemies shall devour them.
Eze_35:11  Therefore, as I live, saith the Lord GOD, I will even do according to thine anger, and according to thine envy which thou hast used out of thy hatred against them; and I will make myself known among them, when I have judged thee.
Mat_27:18  For he knew that for envy they had delivered him.
Mar_15:10  For he knew that the chief priests had delivered him for envy.
Act_7:9  And the patriarchs, moved with envy, sold Joseph into Egypt: but God was with him,
Act_13:45  But when the Jews saw the multitudes, they were filled with envy, and spake against those things which were spoken by Paul, contradicting and blaspheming.
Act_17:5  But the Jews which believed not, moved with envy, took unto them certain lewd fellows of the baser sort, and gathered a company, and set all the city on an uproar, and assaulted the house of Jason, and sought to bring them out to the people.
Rom_1:29  Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers,
Php_1:15  Some indeed preach Christ even of envy and strife; and some also of good will:
1Ti_6:4  He is proud, knowing nothing, but doting about questions and strifes of words, whereof cometh envy, strife, railings, evil surmisings,
Tit_3:3  For we ourselves also were sometimes foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving divers lusts and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful, and hating one another.
Jas_4:5  Do ye think that the scripture saith in vain, The spirit that dwelleth in us lusteth to envy?

Bible Verses about Jealousy: (31 verses)

Num_5:14  And the spirit of jealousy come upon him, and he be jealous of his wife, and she be defiled: or if the spirit of jealousy come upon him, and he be jealous of his wife, and she be not defiled:
Num_5:15  Then shall the man bring his wife unto the priest, and he shall bring her offering for her, the tenth part of an ephah of barley meal; he shall pour no oil upon it, nor put frankincense thereon; for it is an offering of jealousy, an offering of memorial, bringing iniquity to remembrance.
Num_5:18  And the priest shall set the woman before the LORD, and uncover the woman's head, and put the offering of memorial in her hands, which is the jealousy offering: and the priest shall have in his hand the bitter water that causeth the curse:
Num_5:25  Then the priest shall take the jealousy offering out of the woman's hand, and shall wave the offering before the LORD, and offer it upon the altar:
Num_5:30  Or when the spirit of jealousy cometh upon him, and he be jealous over his wife, and shall set the woman before the LORD, and the priest shall execute upon her all this law.
Num_25:11  Phinehas, the son of Eleazar, the son of Aaron the priest, hath turned my wrath away from the children of Israel, while he was zealous for my sake among them, that I consumed not the children of Israel in my jealousy.
Deu_29:20  The LORD will not spare him, but then the anger of the LORD and his jealousy shall smoke against that man, and all the curses that are written in this book shall lie upon him, and the LORD shall blot out his name from under heaven.
Deu_32:16  They provoked him to jealousy with strange gods, with abominations provoked they him to anger.
Deu_32:21  They have moved me to jealousy with that which is not God; they have provoked me to anger with their vanities: and I will move them to jealousy with those which are not a people; I will provoke them to anger with a foolish nation.
1Ki_14:22  And Judah did evil in the sight of the LORD, and they provoked him to jealousy with their sins which they had committed, above all that their fathers had done.
Psa_78:58  For they provoked him to anger with their high places, and moved him to jealousy with their graven images.
Psa_79:5  How long, LORD? wilt thou be angry for ever? shall thy jealousy burn like fire?
Pro_6:34  For jealousy is the rage of a man: therefore he will not spare in the day of vengeance.
Son_8:6  Set me as a seal upon thine heart, as a seal upon thine arm: for love is strong as death; jealousy is cruel as the grave: the coals thereof are coals of fire, which hath a most vehement flame.
Isa_42:13  The LORD shall go forth as a mighty man, he shall stir up jealousy like a man of war: he shall cry, yea, roar; he shall prevail against his enemies.
Eze_8:3  And he put forth the form of an hand, and took me by a lock of mine head; and the spirit lifted me up between the earth and the heaven, and brought me in the visions of God to Jerusalem, to the door of the inner gate that looketh toward the north; where was the seat of the image of jealousy, which provoketh to jealousy.
Eze_8:5  Then said he unto me, Son of man, lift up thine eyes now the way toward the north. So I lifted up mine eyes the way toward the north, and behold northward at the gate of the altar this image of jealousy in the entry.
Eze_16:38  And I will judge thee, as women that break wedlock and shed blood are judged; and I will give thee blood in fury and jealousy.
Eze_16:42  So will I make my fury toward thee to rest, and my jealousy shall depart from thee, and I will be quiet, and will be no more angry.
Eze_23:25  And I will set my jealousy against thee, and they shall deal furiously with thee: they shall take away thy nose and thine ears; and thy remnant shall fall by the sword: they shall take thy sons and thy daughters; and thy residue shall be devoured by the fire.
Eze_36:5  Therefore thus saith the Lord GOD; Surely in the fire of my jealousy have I spoken against the residue of the heathen, and against all Idumea, which have appointed my land into their possession with the joy of all their heart, with despiteful minds, to cast it out for a prey.
Eze_36:6  Prophesy therefore concerning the land of Israel, and say unto the mountains, and to the hills, to the rivers, and to the valleys, Thus saith the Lord GOD; Behold, I have spoken in my jealousy and in my fury, because ye have borne the shame of the heathen:
Eze_38:19  For in my jealousy and in the fire of my wrath have I spoken, Surely in that day there shall be a great shaking in the land of Israel;
Zep_1:18  Neither their silver nor their gold shall be able to deliver them in the day of the LORD'S wrath; but the whole land shall be devoured by the fire of his jealousy: for he shall make even a speedy riddance of all them that dwell in the land.
Zep_3:8  Therefore wait ye upon me, saith the LORD, until the day that I rise up to the prey: for my determination is to gather the nations, that I may assemble the kingdoms, to pour upon them mine indignation, even all my fierce anger: for all the earth shall be devoured with the fire of my jealousy.
Zec_1:14  So the angel that communed with me said unto me, Cry thou, saying, Thus saith the LORD of hosts; I am jealous for Jerusalem and for Zion with a great jealousy.
Zec_8:2  Thus saith the LORD of hosts; I was jealous for Zion with great jealousy, and I was jealous for her with great fury.
Rom_10:19  But I say, Did not Israel know? First Moses saith, I will provoke you to jealousy by them that are no people, and by a foolish nation I will anger you.
Rom_11:11  I say then, Have they stumbled that they should fall? God forbid: but rather through their fall salvation is come unto the Gentiles, for to provoke them to jealousy.
1Co_10:22  Do we provoke the Lord to jealousy? are we stronger than he?
2Co_11:2  For I am jealous over you with godly jealousy: for I have espoused you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ.


Keeping Envy and Jealousy Under Control

http://www.urmc.rochester.edu/encyclopedia/content.aspx?ContentTypeID=1&ContentID=1848 

When someone gets a raise or a special perk, can you say congratulations and mean it? Or do you seethe inside and think, "That really should have been mine?"
Feelings of resentment at another's good fortune have been around since recorded history. These feelings commonly take two forms, envy and jealousy. Envy rears its ugly head when someone has a thing or benefit you want for yourself - a bigger office, a bigger paycheck, a special privilege. Jealousy results when you covet a relationship. For example, you might feel jealous if your supervisor and co-worker are lunch buddies and leave you behind.
Both envy and jealously are fanned by the perception that the "winner" had an unfair advantage. The jealous or envious person finds themselves constantly thinking about the situation, wondering when their "turn" at recognition is going to come.
In small doses, these emotions can be motivating. When someone else has what you want, this increases your determination to get it. Some business models even encourage these feelings to create a more competitive environment.
When envy and jealousy get out of control, though, they can be highly destructive to people and to organizations. Plotting to "get even" with someone who just got a new title, for example, probably won't change the situation, but it could make life in the office very unpleasant for you and everyone else.
In the same way, someone who decided to get back at the organization by coming in late or doing a less effective job would probably find it harder to get a promotion in the future.
Envy and jealousy also contribute to stress and anger, which are closely tied to several illnesses. Anger has been shown to be a risk factor for heart disease. Similarly, long-term stress impairs the immune system and has been associated with some forms of cancer.

Follow your own star

Negative emotions can exhaust you, causing you to lose your focus on your goals. Rather than thinking about the situation, take control by making conscious choices about what you want in your life and career. Set your personal priorities, based on what you value the most. Decide upon issues such as work status, how many hours you are willing to work, or commute time away from home, for example.

Steps to take

Here are some other strategies for managing these negative emotions:
  • Use "decision language." Instead of casting yourself as the victim, describe the situation in words that put you in charge. Instead of saying, "I got shafted," say, "What can I do next time to better myself in order to have an equal opportunity for the promotion?"
  • Count your assets. Take an inventory of the positive things you've achieved in your work and in the rest of your life. Is it possible other people are envious of you?
  • Level the playing field. Envy and jealousy thrive when "office politics" take the place of clear rules for success.
  • Choose a stress-reducing lifestyle. Regular exercise and a healthful diet can help you get a grip on feelings of anger and frustration. Look also at ways to manage or reduce other areas of stress. Could you make a long commute less stressful by taking public transportation?
Talk with someone about how your perception of unfairness is making you feel. A therapist or counselor can help you sort out these emotions, and help you concentrate on the direction you are choosing for your life. Once you attain the confidence to proceed with your goals, you will most likely experience a decrease in the amount of time you might have been worrying about what is happening with someone else.