Showing posts with label young marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label young marriage. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

SEX DRIVE セックスドライブ 的性冲动 섹스 드라이브 полового влечения sexlyst El deseo sexual الدافع الجنسي seksuele dryfkrag सेक्स ड्राइव









God planned in us three basic drives, to work in harmony and grow together in balance. They built the youth of the Lord Jesus. "Jesus increased in wisdom (the PERSONALITY drive) and stature (the PHYSICAL drive) and in favour with God (the SPIRITUAL drive) and the man (the SOCIAL drive - a natural result of controlling the other three) (Luke 2:52).
Luk 2:52  And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man. 

The most powerful emotion-influencing part of the physical drive is that of SEX. Without this inbuilt direction to be "fruitful and multiply" we would last only one more generation (Genesis 1:28). This is the Father's most sacred gift to man - the power to re-create life.
Gen 1:28  And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth. 

GOD CREATED and ORDAINED sex. It is NOT "evil" or unholy. The Bible does not hesitate to extoll the joys of a God given, God-directed sexual love in marriage. Sex is God's idea; He made it up. It is a symbol from the innermost being of the Father's heart of some of the most sacred relationships of Scripture. Christian marriage represents on earth the holy love the Heavenly Bridegroom, Jesus Christ the Lord has for His Body, the Church (1 Corinthians 6:18-20). A Christian family is the earthly pattern of God's longing for spiritual sons and daughters to rule and reign with Him. In its God-designed place, sexual love is the most beautiful relationship on earth. It is His special gift to signify His ultimate purpose for man; to be in the Father's house and family, living in love and fellowship trough eternity (1 John 3:1-2).
1Co 6:18  Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.
1Co 6:19  What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? 
1Co 6:20  For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's. 
1Jn 3:1  Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God: therefore the world knoweth us not, because it knew him not.
1Jn 3:2  Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is. 

Because God made sex in human beings such a special relationship, He set definite differences between animal and human sex drives. Animal reproduction is sparked by automatic instinct laws that operate at certain times of the year. There is no love in these sexual couplings, just blind instinctual desire. Human desire for sexual love and children is quite different. It has been placed by the Creator at the direction of the human will and thought. It is Not automatic.God designed it to both awaken and function under the control of the personality. In early years the force sleeps, hidden from our attention, but as we begin to mature it makes its presence felt in our lives.

Sex was given for two major physical reasons: re-creation of the race by reproduction (Genesis 1:27-28; Psalm 127:3-5) and as a source of deep spiritual and physical pleasure between husband and wife (Matthew 19:4-6; Genesis 2:24-25; 24:67; Ecclesiastes 9:9; 1 Corinthians 7:2-5). The same Bible that gives stern warnings about the misuse of sex (Proverbs 5:1-8, 20) clearly describes how sexual needs should be met, to bring us great happiness (Proverbs 5:15, 18-19). The Bible teaches PURITY, not Puritanism! A husband is to be "intoxicated" with his wife's love; this is not only described by the Holy Spirit as a part of wisdom (Proverbs 5:1). but God is seen to know and approve of this sexual union (Proverbs 5:21) God made sex to be tenderly beautiful.

Gen 1:27  So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.
Gen 1:28  And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth. 
Psa 127:3  Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.
Psa 127:4  As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth.
Psa 127:5  Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate. 
Mat 19:4  And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,
Mat 19:5  And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?
Mat 19:6  Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. 
Gen 2:24  Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
Gen 2:25  And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. 
 Gen 24:67  And Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah's tent, and took Rebekah, and she became his wife; and he loved her: and Isaac was comforted after his mother's death. 
Ecc 9:9  Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun. 
1Co 7:2  Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
1Co 7:3  Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
1Co 7:4  The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
1Co 7:5  Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. 
Pro 5:1  My son, attend unto my wisdom, and bow thine ear to my understanding:
Pro 5:2  That thou mayest regard discretion, and that thy lips may keep knowledge.
Pro 5:3  For the lips of a strange woman drop as an honeycomb, and her mouth is smoother than oil:
Pro 5:4  But her end is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a twoedged sword.
Pro 5:5  Her feet go down to death; her steps take hold on hell.
Pro 5:6  Lest thou shouldest ponder the path of life, her ways are moveable, that thou canst not know them.
Pro 5:7  Hear me now therefore, O ye children, and depart not from the words of my mouth.
Pro 5:8  Remove thy way far from her, and come not nigh the door of her house:
Pro 5:9  Lest thou give thine honour unto others, and thy years unto the cruel:
Pro 5:10  Lest strangers be filled with thy wealth; and thy labours be in the house of a stranger;
Pro 5:11  And thou mourn at the last, when thy flesh and thy body are consumed,
Pro 5:12  And say, How have I hated instruction, and my heart despised reproof;
Pro 5:13  And have not obeyed the voice of my teachers, nor inclined mine ear to them that instructed me!
Pro 5:14  I was almost in all evil in the midst of the congregation and assembly.
Pro 5:15  Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well.
Pro 5:16  Let thy fountains be dispersed abroad, and rivers of waters in the streets.
Pro 5:17  Let them be only thine own, and not strangers' with thee.
Pro 5:18  Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.
Pro 5:19  Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.
Pro 5:20  And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger?
Pro 5:21  For the ways of man are before the eyes of the LORD, and he pondereth all his goings. 

 

Teen pregnancies in the Philippines 
By Rebecca B. Singson
Philippine Daily Inquirer
First Posted 00:55:00 06/14/2008

Filed Under: Health, Lifestyle & Leisure, Gender Issues(First in a series)MANILA, Philippines?The sexual revolution has ushered in a period in which the average adolescent experiences tremendous pressures to have sexual experiences of all kinds. Filipino teens get a higher exposure to sex from the Internet, magazines, TV shows, movies and other media than decades ago, yet without any corresponding increase in information on how to handle the input. So kids are pretty much left to other kids for opinions and value formation when it comes to sex.
Sexual misinformation is therefore equally shared in the group. Parents at home and teachers in school feel equally inadequate or uneasy to discuss the topic of sex with youngsters. The problem mounts because the barkada (gang) has a more profound influence than parents do and they exert pressure and expect the adolescent to conform to the rest of them.
In fact, female adolescents whose friends engage in sexual behavior were found to be more likely to do the same compared to those who do not associate with such peers. If the teen perceives her peers to look negatively at premarital sex, she was more likely to start sex at a later age.
NumbersStatistics in the United States show that each year, almost 1 million teenage women?10 percent of all women aged 15-19 and 19 percent of those who have had sexual intercourse?become pregnant and one-fourth of teenage mothers have a second child within two years of their first.
In the Philippines, according to the 2002 Young Adult Fertility and Sexuality Study by the University of the Philippines Population Institute (Uppi) and the Demographic Research and Development Foundation, 26 percent of our Filipino youth nationwide from ages 15 to 25 admitted to having a premarital sex experience. What?s worse is that 38 percent of our youth are already in a live-in arrangement.
The 1998 National Demographic and Health Survey (NDHS) reveals that 3.6 million of our teenagers (that?s a whopping 5.2 percent of our population!) got pregnant. In 92 percent of these teens, the pregnancy was unplanned, and the majority, 78 percent, did not even use contraceptives the first time they had sex. Many of the youth are clueless that even on a single intercourse, they could wind up pregnant.
RisksThere are many reasons teen pregnancies should be avoided. Here?s a low down on the facts:
? Risk for malnutrition
Teenage mothers tend to have poor eating habits and are less likely to take recommended daily multivitamins to maintain adequate nutrition during pregnancy. They are also more likely to smoke, drink or take drugs during pregnancy, which can cause health problems for the baby.
? Risk for inadequate prenatal care
Teenage mothers are less likely to seek regular prenatal care which is essential for monitoring the growth of the fetus; keeping the mother?s weight in check; and advising the mother on nutrition and how she should take care of herself to ensure a healthy pregnancy. According to the American Medical Association, babies born to women who do not have regular prenatal care are 4 times more likely to die before the age of 1 year.
? Risk for abortion
Unplanned pregnancies lead to a higher rate of abortions. In the United States, nearly 4 in 10 teen pregnancies (excluding those ending in miscarriages) are terminated by abortion. There were about 274,000 abortions among teens in 1996.
In the Philippines, although abortion is illegal, it would shock you to know that we even have a higher abortion rate (25/1,000 women) compared to the United States where abortion is legal (23/1,000 women). For sure, there are more abortions that happen in our country that are not even reported. Backdoor abortions are resorted to with untrained ?hilots? with questionable sterility procedures, increasing the possibility for tetanus poisoning and other complications.
? Risk for fetal deaths
Statistics of the Department of Health show that fetal deaths are more likely to happen to young mothers, and that babies born by them are likely to have low birth weight.
? Risk for acquiring cervical cancer
The Human Papillomavirus (HPV) is a sexually-transmitted, wart-forming virus that has been implicated in causing cancer of the cervix. This is the most common cancer in women secondary to breast cancer. Women who are at increased risk for acquiring this are those who engage in sex before 18, have a pregnancy at or younger than 18, or have had at least 5 sexual partners, or have had a partner with at least 5 sexual partners.
If you start sex at an early age, you have a higher likelihood of going through several sexual partners before you settle down, thus increasing your exposure to acquiring the virus and acquiring cervical cancer. The men can get genital warts from this virus and can certainly pass it on to their partners, thus increasing her risk for cervical cancer. Is that something you would want to gift to your wife with on your honeymoon? There is a way to test women (HPV Digene test) but no test for the man so you can?t know if you have it. Using the condom does not confer protection against acquiring this virus since the condom cannot cover the testes where the warts can grow and proliferate.

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Really? Ready for Marriage?









Marriage: Philippines 2011

Reference Number: 

2013-29

Release Date: 

Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Registered marriages in 2011 drop by 1.3 percent
There were 476,408 marriages registered in 2011 showing a decline of 1.3 percent from the previous year’s figure of 482,480. Since 2009, the number of registered marriages in the country has been declining.
The biggest decrease in the number of recorded marriages was in Eastern Visayas (Region VIII) at 18.8 percent. This was followed by Bicol and Caraga Regions with 9.2 and 7.9 percent decrease, respectively. On the other hand, number of marriages in ARMM increased by 79.7 percent compared with the previous year.
February is the favorite month for wedding
With a daily average of 1,799 marriages, February remained the favorite month for couples to tie the knot. However, the highest number of marriage occurred in the month of May with 55,529 or 11.7 percent of the total. April managed to rank fifth in 2011, with a daily average of 1,496 marriages, despite ranking first in 2010. August remained the least favored month for marriage as it accounted for only 24,763 marriages or a daily average of 799.
Women prefer to marry at an earlier age than men
There was a disparity between men and women when it comes to marrying age. The median age for brides was 25.3 while 28.0 for grooms showing that women prefer to marry at an earlier age than men. The highest number of brides who got married was seen at age group 20-24, while for grooms it was in age group 25-29.
It was observed that marriage involving teenage brides (58,320 or 12.2%) was more than four times compared to those with teenage grooms (12,882 or 2.7%). There were also registered marriages with grooms 50 years and older. Number of men who settled down at age 50 and over (16,585 or 3.5%) was more than twice that of women (7,012 or 1.5%) of the same age group.
Four out of ten marriages are contracted through civil rites
Marriage ceremonies performed through civil rites reportedly got the highest proportion among all types of marriage ceremony.  Civil marriages accounted for 202,614 or 42.5 percent of the total marriages.  Roman Catholicism, being one of the most influential religions in the country remained to be the second in the list with recorded marriages of 171,046 or 35.9 percent of the total marriages.  Marriages contracted through other religious rites including Muslim accounted for about 20.8 percent while there were 3,167 marriages solemnized under tribal rites.

(Sgd) CARMELITA N. ERICTA
           Administrator


 I read an article by Evelyn M. Duvall, "Mature enough to Marry" She gave the reasons for why the increase in young marriages?

The first, and very possibly the most important, social reason is the relative affluence of Americans. There's a very close relationship between economic prosperity and young age at marriage.

A second point of very real importance that  is not widely recognized is that parents today are more able and more willing to help the young couple in many substantial ways.

In the third place, in times of wartime economy and of general "floating anxiety," as the psychiatrists put it, marriage rates and young marriage increase.

Fourth is the increase amount of early dating, going steady at earlier ages. Courtship proceeds at a faster pace and at earlier ages than was the case a few generations ago.

Fifth, many of our young marriage are being forced by pregnancy. There has been a very obvious increase in the number of these premarital pregnancies.

Sixth is the idealization of marriage as a desirable adult status. Marriage is a kind of instant status for a youngster who is discouraged in other areas. One of the reasons why some of these very young marriage work out so badly is that the very people who are least prepared for marriage are those who plunge into marriage most precipitately.

Seventh, the increase in young marriage is very definitely related to the increase in the number of unhappy homes, schools, and communities. Children from unhappy homes marry at younger ages than those from happier home situations.

Eighth is the chain-reaction effect of young marriage encouraging more young marriage within a given community.

Why be concerned  about young marriage? First of all, because of its human development hazards.

There seems to be little question but that early intimacy and early domesticity among teen-agers curtails the development of full personality potential. The individual becomes preoccupied in the creative and procreative aspects of life which all of us know have such terrific drive and central force. Therefore, that individual does not get the time or the chance to dream, to travel, to explore and to find out what the world is made of and know the kinds of people and the forces and attitudes and points of view that are as a full-fledged individual to the place of developing the very complex, intricate, marvelous capacity to love in its fullest sense.

 This is the reason why young marriages should not be recommended in our society. But there is another reason too. This is that young marriages do break up in large numbers. All studies to date conclude that young marriage are not as stable as those of more mature persons.

Why are young marriage so unstable? Because marriage is not child's play. It requires a very complex ability to carry responsibility and to settle down as a mature enough person to found a family.  Young marriage is very frequently a lunge toward independence and freedom from control. Therefore, it tends to take place most frequently among the most rebellious, the most most anarchistic, the least well-adjusted young people. "You can't push me around; I'll get married and show you I can run my own life" kind of attitude is adolescent rebellion at its most immature form.

The young married are often emotionally immature even though they may be sexually sophisticated. Less emotional maturity is related significantly, clinically, and statistically, to sexual irresponsibility, promiscuity, and general sophistication sexually.

Why are young marriages unsuccessful in terms of both permanence and happiness? Because young people have less opportunity to prepare themselves specifically for marriage and family, less opportunity to find out what marriage is all about, less opportunity to understand themselves and what it means to become a husband or wife, a mother or father, less opportunity to learn anything at all about what it is going to mean to become parents.

These youngsters oftentimes recognize all too late that the problems of marriage are way beyond their anticipations. What are the pressures and problems of young marriages?

First of all are the economic problems and pressures. They have less money, more unemployment, less of an educational base, and the wife is poorly prepared to help. About all she can do is get a job as a waitress, or pounding somebody's typewriter, or other more or less dead-end jobs.

A second pressure of these young marriages is that of housing. A large number of these young couples live with their folks even though our culture says "no roof is big enough for two families." This is a very real problem, and it may be a real disappointment.

Young marriages have in-law problems. They have three times as many in-law problems as we find among more mature couples. Why? Because parents ore frequently disapprove of the young marriage and, therefore, are on the lookout for trouble. Annoyance and disappointment on the part of parents increase the concern from the parents' point of view which the young people, in turn, interpret as interference.

Another hazard is the social pressures. Young husbands run around much more than do more mature men. "He is out bowling with the boys." "He is still chasing around" is the kind of complaint that very frequently comes from the young wife.

The young mother oftentimes finds that the constant care of a baby ties her down. Here the girl is stuck twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, with an irresponsible husband who is of goodness knows where; so she parks he baby any place she can and tears off whenever possible.Irresponsible, sure, because she is not ready for this kind of responsibility.

What do we mean - mature enough to marry?

First of all, mature enough to have established a sense of personal identity, to have discovered one's self and to have developed a direction for one's life that offers promise for he future.

Second, mature enough to be ready to settle down with one person exclusively, with responsibility.

Third, grown up enough to have outgrown childish dependence upon parents or adolescent independence thrusts to the place where one is ready for interdependence with husband or wife.

Fourth, a person is mature enough to marry when he or she is ready to love and to be loved deeply and fully as a whole person. The kind of love that takes time to mature does not blossom overnight, even in relationships between mature persons.

Fifth, education sufficient for a full life as a man or woman both in and outside the home. There should have been enough education before marriage to kindle the love of learning in both of the pair so they will both keep on with their education afterwards.

It is this love for growth that probably more than anything else is a measure of maturity. Education is important for a full life. So we advise youth-prepare for what marriage involves. Become ready to assume the rules and even enjoy the privileges of marriage. Know what it means to become a husband, what it means to become a wife. Learn what will be expected and enough of the skills to carry on some competence as a married partner, as a parent, as a householder, as a homemaker.

Those of us who have anything to do with children in the full twenty years of the first two decades of life need to constantly recognize that more important than preaching, more important than scolding, more important than reminding is encouraging young people to develop those facets of themselves that have promise. As we can show a youngster from the very earliest days our pleasure, our pride, our admiration for something that he is or does is capable of, we inspire him to continue growing. When we whittle down or nag too loudly, too frequently - all we do is increase the sense of guilt and shame and disappointment and self-abasement that is not in the line of growth.

The security of the future lies in the kind of families that we are developing now.