DEVELOPING THE LEADER WITHIN YOU
Maxwell, John C. Developing the Leader Within You, (1993:Nashville, Tennessee, Injoy, Inc Thomas Nelson, Inc.)
Introduction
The key to success in any endeavor is the ability to lead others successfully.
Leadership can be taught.
Levels of leadership:
The Leading Leader
· Is born with leadership qualities
· Has seen leadership modeled throughout life.
· Has learned added leadership through training.
· Has self-discipline to become a great leader.
The Learned Leader
· Has seen leadership modeled most of life
· Has learned leadership through training.
· Has self-discipline to be a great leader.
The Latent Leader
· Has just recently seen leadership modeled
· Is learning to be a leader through training
· Has self-discipline to become a good leader.
The Limited Leader
· Has little or no exposure to leaders.
· Has little or no exposure to leadership training.
· Has desire to become a leader.
There seems to be a great deal of confusion over the difference between “leadership” and “management.”
Management is the process of assuring that the program and objectives of the organization are implemented. Leadership, on the other hand has to do with casting vision and motivating people. “People don’t want to be managed. They want to be led.
- Knowing how to do a job is the accomplishment of labor
- Showing others is the accomplishment of a teacher.
- Making sure the work is done by others is the accomplishment of a manager.
- Inspiring others to do better work is the accomplishment of a leader.
Bruce Larson in his book, Wind and Fire, points out interesting facts about Standhill cranes: “ These large birds, who fly great distances across continents, have three remarkable qualities. First, they rotate leadership. No one bird stays out in front all the time, Second, they choose leaders who can handle turbulence. And then, all during the time one bird is leading, the rest are honking their affirmation.”
1. The Definition of Leadership: Influence
Leadership is influence.
Leadership is the ability to obtain followers.
INSIGHTS ABOUT INFLUENCE
· Everyone influences someone.
· We never know who or how much we influence.
The Little Chap Who Follows Me
A careful man I want to be,
A little fellow follows me;
I do not dare to go astray
For fear he’ll go the self-same way.
I cannot once escape his eyes.
Whate’er he sees me do he tries.
Like ME he says he’s going to be-
That little chap who follows me.
I must remember as I go
Through summer suns and winter snows,
I am building for the years to be –
That little chap who follows me.
· The best investment in the future’s a proper influence today
· Influence is a skill that can be developed.
THE LEVELS OF LEADERSHIP
Level 1: Position
A real leader knows the difference between being the boss and being a leader.
The boss drives his workers; the leader coaches them.
The boss depends upon authority; the leader on goodwill.
The boss inspires fear; the leader inspires enthusiasm.
The boss says “I”; the leader, “we”
The boss fixes the blame for the breakdown; the leader fixes the breakdown.
The boss knows how it is done; the leader shows how.
The boss says ‘go”; the leader says “let’s go!”
Characteristics of a “Positional Leader.”
· Security is based on title, not talent.
· This level is often gained by appointment
· People will not follow a positional leader beyond his stated authority.
· Positional leaders have more difficulty working with volunteers, white collar workers, and younger people.
· Our joy and success in leading others depend on our abilities to keep climbing the levels of leadership.
Level 2: Permission
Fred Smith says, “Leadership is getting people to work for you when they are not obligated.”
Leadership begins with the heart, not the head. It flourishes with a meaningful relationship, not more regulations.
People who are unable to build solid , lasting relationships will soon discover that they are unable to sustain long, effective leadership.
You can love people without leading them, but you cannot lead people without loving them.
Relationship involve a process that provide the glue and much of the staying power for long-term, consistent production.
Level 3: Production
On this level things begin to happen, good things. Profit increases. Moral is high. Turnover is low. Needs are being met. Goals are being realized. Accompanying this growth is the “big mo” – momentum. Leading and influencing others is fun. Problems are solved with minimum effort. Fresh statistics are shared on a regular basis with the people who under gird the growth of the organization. Everyone is result-oriented. In fact, results are the main reason for the activity.
Dan Reiland shared with John: “If level 1, Position, is the door to leadership, then level 2, Permission, is the foundation.”
Level 4: People Development
A leader is great, not because of his or her power, but because of his or her ability to empower others. Success without a successor is failure. A worker’s main responsibility is doing the work himself. A leader’s main responsibility is developing others to do the work.
Loyalty to the leader reaches its highest peak when the follower has personally grown though the mentorship of the leader. Note the progression: At level 2, the follower loves the leader; at level 3, the follower admires the leader; at level 4, the follower is loyal to the leader. Why? You win people’s hearts by helping them grow personally.
The core of leaders who surround you should all be people you have personally touched or helped to develop in some way. When that happen, love and loyalty will be exhibited by those closest to you and by those who are touched will by your key leaders.
Walk slowly through the crowd. Have some way of keeping in touch with every one.
· Learning names through the pictorial church directories
· Making communication cards available to the congregation and reading the cards as they are turned in.
· Reading every interview form of a membership applicant
· Reading and replying to letters that are sent to me.
· Visiting one social event of each Sunday School class each year.
Develop key leaders.
Level 5: Personhood
Only a lifetime of proven leadership will allow us to sit at level 5 and reap the rewards that are eternally satisfying. It’s achievable.
CLIMBING THE STEPS OF LEADERSHIP
Additional insights.
· The higher you go, the longer it takes.
· The higher you go, the higher the level of commitment.
· The higher you go, the easier it is to lead.
· The higher you go, the greater the growth.
· You never leave the base level.
· If you are leading a group of people, you will not be on the same level with everyone.
· For your leadership to remain effective, it is essential that you take the other influencers within the group with you to the higher levels.
CONCLUSION ON INFLUENCE
· Know what level you are on at this moment.
· Know and apply the qualities needed to be successful at each level.
CHARACTERISTICS EXHIBITED WITH EXCELLENCE
Level 1: Position/Rights
· Know your job description thoroughly.
· Be aware of the history of the organization.
· Relate the organization’s history to the people of the organization (in other words, be a team player)
· Accept responsibility
· Do your job with consistent excellence.
· Do more than expected.
· Offer creative ideas for change and improvement.
Level 2: Permission/Relationship
· Possess a genuine love for people.
· Make those who work with you more successful.
· See through other people’s eyes.
· Do “win-win” or don’t do it.
· Include others in your journey.
· Deal wisely with difficult people.
Level 3: Production/Results
· Initiate and accept responsibility for growth.
· Develop and follow a statement of purpose.
· Make your job description and energy an integral part of the statement of purpose.
· Develop accountability for results, beginning with yourself.
· Know and do the things that results, beginning with yourself.
· Communicate the strategy and vision of the organization.
· Become a change-agent and understand timing.
· Make the difficult decision that will make a difference.
Level 4: People Development/Reproduction
· Realize that people are your most valuable asset.
· Place a priority on developing people.
· Be a model for others to follow.
· Pour your leadership efforts into the top 20 percent of your people.
· Expose key leaders to growth opportunities.
· Be able to attract other winners/producers to the common goal.
· Surround yourself with an inner core that complements your leadership.
Level 5: Personhood/Respect
· Your followers are loyal and sacrificial.
· You have spent years mentoring and molding leaders.
· You have become a statesman/consultant, and are sought out by others.
· Your greatest joy comes from watching others grow and develop.
· You transcend the organization.
My Influence
My life shall touch a dozen lives
Before this day is done.
Leave countless marks of good or ill,
E’er sets the evening sun.
This, the wish I always wish,
The prayer I always pray:
Lord, may my life help other lives
It touches by the way.
2. The Key to Leadership: Priorities
THINKING AHEAD AND PRIORITIZING RESPONSIBILITIES MARKS THE MAJOR DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A LEADER AND A FOLLOWER because:
· Practical people know how to get what they want.
· Philosopher know what they ought to want.
· Leaders know how to get what they ought to want.
Success can be defined as the progressive realization of a predetermined goal.
THE PARETO PRINCIPLE: THE 20/80 PRINCIPLE
Time 20 percent of our time produce 80 percent of the results.
Counseling 20 percent of the people take up 80 percent of our time.
Products 20 percent of the products bring in 80 % of the profit
Reading 20% of the book contains 80% of the contents.
Job 20% of our work gives us 80% of our satisfaction
Speech 20% of the presentation produces 80% of the impact.
Donations 20% of the people will give 80% of the money
Leadership 20% of the people will make 80% of the decision
Picnic 20% of the people will eat 80% of the food!
Every leader needs to understand the Pareto Principle in the area of people oversight and leadership. For example, 20% of the people in an organization will be responsible for 80% of the company’s success.
This strategy will enable a leader to increase the productivity of an organization.
- Determine which people are the top 20% producers.
- Spend 80 % of your “people time” with the top 20%.
- Spend 80% of your personal developmental dollars on the top 20%.
- Determine what 20% of the work gives 80% less effective work. This “frees up” the producer to do what he/she does best.
- Ask the top 20% to do on-the-job training for the next 20%.
IT’S NOT HOW HARD YOU WORK; IT’S HOW SMART YOU WORK.
Organize or agonize.
The ability to juggle three or four high priority projects successfully is a must for every leader.
Prioritize Assignments
- High Importance/ High Urgency: Tackle these projects first
- High Importance/Low Urgency: Set deadlines for completion and get these projects worked into your daily routine.
- Low Importance/High Urgency: Find quick, efficient ways to get this work done without much personal involvement. If possible, delegate it to a “can do” assistant.
- Low Importance/Low Urgency: This is busy or repetitious work such as filing. Stack it up and do it in one-half hour segments every week; get somebody else to do it; or don’t do it at all. Before putting off until tomorrow something you can do today, study it clearly, Mayb e you can postpone it indefinitely.
Choose or Lose.
Leaders Followers
Initiate React
Lead; pick up phone and make contact Listen; wait or phone to ring
Spend time planning; anticipate problems Spend time living day-to-day; reacting to problems
Invest time with people Spend time with people
Fill the calendar by priorities Fill the calendar by requests
Evaluate or Stalemate
Questions to assist priority process:
- What is required of me?
- What gives me the greatest return?
- What is most rewarding?
PRIORITY PRINCIPLES
- Priorities never “stay put.”
To keep priorities in place:
- Evaluate: Every month review the 3 R’s (Requirements/ Return/ Rewards)
- Eliminate: Ask yourself, “What am I doing that can be done by someone else?”
- Estimate: What are the top projects you are doing this month and how long will they take?
Principle: You cannot overestimate the unimportance of practically everything.
Question: “If you could live your life over again, what would you do differently?
Answers:
· I would reflect more
· I would risk more.
· I would do more things that would live on after I am dead.
The Good is the enemy of the best.
How to break the tie between two good options?
· Ask your overseer or coworkers their preference.
· Can one of the options be handled by someone else? If, so, pass it on the work on the one only you can do.
· Which option would be of more benefit to the customer? Too many times we are like the merchant who was so intent on trying to keep the store clean that he would never unlock the front door. The real reason for running the store is to have customers come in, not to clean it up!
· Make your decision based on the purpose of the organization.
You can’t have it all.
William H. Hinson’s poem:
He who seeks one thing, and but one,
May hope to achieve it before life is done.
But he who seeks all things wherever he goes
Must reap around him in whatever he sows
A harvest of barren regret.
“To reach the top, you must carry only equipment necessary for climbing. You must leave behind all unnecessary accessories. It’s a difficult climb.”
Too many priorities paralyze us.
All true leaders have learned to say No to the good in order to say Yes to the best.
When little priorities demand too much of us, big problems arise.
Robert J. McKain: “The reason most major goals are not achieved is that we spend our time doing second things first.”
Frederick Broan Harris: “The small fish lured the sea giants to their death…They come to their violent demise by chasing small ends, by prostituting vast powers for insignificant goals.”
Time deadlines and emergencies force us to priorities.
Parkinson’s Law: “If you have only one letter to write, it will take all day to do it. If you have twenty letters to write, you’ll get them done in one day.”
Too often we learn too late what is really important.
“Nobody on his death bed ever said, ‘I wish I had spent more time on my business.’”
3. The Most Important Ingredient of Leadership: Integrity
“ the state of being complete, unified.” When I have intergrity, my words and my deeds match up. I am who I am, no matter where I am or who I am with.
THE CREDIBILITY ACID TEST
1. Integrity builds trust.
2. Integrity has high influence value.
3. Integrity facilitates high
4. Integrity results in a solid reputation, not just image.
5. Integrity means living it myself before leading others.
6. Integrity helps a leader by credible, not just clever.
7. Integrity is a hard-won achievement.
- Hester H. Cholmondelay’s “Judas”
Still as of old
Men by themselves are priced—
For thirty pieces Judas sold
Himself, not Christ
- Billy Graham: “Integrity is the glue that holds our way of life together. We must constantly strive to keep our integrity intact.
“When wealth is lost, nothing is lost; when health is lost, something is lost; when character is lost, all is lost.”
- Edgar Guest’s “Mirror Test”
I have to live with myself, and so
I want to be fit for myself to know
I want to be able, as days go by,
Always to look myself straight in the eye;
I don’t want to stand, with the setting sun,
And hate myself for things I have done.
I don’t want to keep on a closet shelf
A lot of secrets about myself,
And fool myself, as I come and go,
Into thinking that nobody else will know
The kind of man I really am;
I don’t want to dress up myself in sham,
I want to go out with my head erect,
I want to deserve all men’s respect;
But here in the struggle for fame and self
I want to be able to like myself.
I don’t want to look at myself and know
That I’m bluster and bluff and empty show,
I can never hide myself from me;
I see what others may never see;
I know what others may never know,
I never can fool myself, and so,
Whatever happens, I want to be
Self-respecting and conscience free.
Next,, take the “Mentor Test.” It asks, “Am I true to my leader? Joseph Bailey interviewed more than thirty top executive He found that all learned firsthand from a mentor.
Ralph Waldo Emerson: “Our chief want in life is somebody who shall make us what we can be.” When we find that person, we need to check our growth on a basis, asking, “Am I totally availing myself of the teaching I am receiving?” Taking the shortcuts in this process will hurt both your mentor and you.
Finally, take the “Masses Test” It asks, “Am I true to my followers?” As leaders, we quickly understand that wrong decisions not only adversely affect us, but they affect those who follow us. However, making a bad decision because of wrong motives is totally different. Before reaching for the reins of leadership we must realize that we teach what we know and reproduce what we are. Integrity is an inside job.
YOU WILL ONLY BECOME WHAT YOU ARE BECOMING RIGHT NOW.
Though you cannot go back
And make a brand new start, my friend.
Anyone can start from now
And make a brand new end.
4. The Ultimate Test of Leadership: Creating Positive Change
PROFILE OF A LEARDER IN TROUBLE- Trouble Spots
- Has a poor understanding of people
- Lack imagination
- Has personal problems
- Passes the buck
- Feels secure and satisfied
- Is not organized
- Flies into rages
- Will not take a risk
- Is insecure and defensive
- Stays inflexible
- Has no team spirit
- Fights change
THE LEADER AS CHANGE AGENT
Once the leader has personally changed and discerned the difference between novel change and needed change then that leader must become a change agent.
Change equals growth
A good exercise when you face change is to make a list of the logical advantages and disadvantages that should result from the change, and then make another list indicating the psychological impact.
WHY PEOPLE RESIST CHANGE
- The change isn’t self-initiated
- Routine is disrupted
- Change creates fear of the unknown
- The purpose of the change is unclear.
- Change creates fear of failure.
- The rewards for change don’t match the effort change requires.
- People are too satisfied with the way things are.
- Change won’t happen when people engage in negative thinking.
Regardless of his state in the present, the negative thinker finds disappointment in the future.
Don’t look – you might see.
Don’t listen – you might hear.
Don’t think – you might learn.
Don’t make a decision – you might be wrong.
Don’t walk – you might stumble.
Don’t run – you might fall.
Don’t live – you might die.
Don’t change – you might grow.
· The followers lack respect for the leader.
· The leader is susceptible to feeling of personal criticism.
· Change may mean personal loss
· Change requires additional commitment.
· Narrow-mindedness thwarts acceptance of new ideas.
· Tradition resists change.
A CHECKLIST FOR CHANGE
Below are the questions you should review before attempting changes within an organization. When the questions can be answered with a yes, change tends to be easier. Questions that can only be answered with no (or maybe) usually indicate that change will be difficult.
YES NO
____ ____ Will this change benefit the followers?
____ ____ Is this change compatible with the purpose of the organization?
____ ____ Is this change specific and clear?
____ ____ Are the top 20 percent (the influencers) in favor of this change?
____ ____ Is it possible to test this change before making a total commitment to it?
____ ____ Are physical, financial, and human resources available to make this change?
____ ____ Is this change reversible?
____ ____ Is this change the next obvious step?
____ ____ Does this change have both short- and long- range benefits?
____ ____ Is the leadership capable of bringing about this change?
____ ____ Is the timing right?
A leader’s success in bringing about change in other will happen only if the timing is right.
The wrong decision at the wrong time = disaster.
The wrong decision at the right time = mistake.
The right decision at the wrong time = unacceptance.
The right decision at the right time = success.
People change when they hurt enough they have to change; learn enough they want to change; receive enough they are able to change. The leader must recognize when people are in one of these three stages. In fact, top leaders create an atmosphere that causes one of these three things to occur.
THE EVOLUTIONARY PROCESS OF CHANGE
Revolutionary – something totally different from what has been
Evolutionary – a refinement of what has been
When a proposal of change is introduced in the organization, people fall into five categories in terms of their response.
- Innovators are the dreamers.
- Early adopters are those who know a good idea when they see it.
- Middle adopters are the majority.
- Late adopters are the last group to endorse an idea.
- Laggards are always against change.
8 Steps of evolutionary change in the organization
1. Ignorance.
2. Information
3. Infusion
4. Individual Change
5. Organizational Change
6. Awkward Application
7. Integration
8. Innovation
CREATING A CLIMATE FOR CHANGE
· The leader must develop a trust with people.
· The leader must make personal change before asking others to change.
· Good leaders understand the history of the organization.
· Place influencers in leadership positions.
· Check the “change in your pocket.”
· Good leaders solicit the support of influencers before the change is made public.
· Develop a meeting agenda that will assist change. A) Information Items b) Study Items c) Action Items
· Encourage the influencers to influence others informally.
· Show the people how the change will benefit them.
· Give the people ownership of the change.
5. The Quickest Way to Gain Leadership: Problem-Solving
F.F. Fournies, Coaching for Improved Work Performance give 4 reasons why people do not perform the way they should:
- They do not know what they are supposed to do.
- They do not know how to do it.
- They do not know why they should.
- There are obstacles beyond their control.
We all have problems.
The size of the person is more important than the size of the problem.
People need to change their perspectives, not their problems.
Problems give meaning to life.
Policies are many; principles are few.
Always take the high road.
Many outstanding people have overcome problems in their lives.
My problem is not my problem.
A problem is something I can do something about.
A test of a leader is the ability to recognize a problem before it becomes an emergency
Great leaders recognize a problem in the following sequence:
- They sense it before they see it – intuition
- They begin looking for it and ask questions – curiosity
- They gather data – processing
- They share their feelings and finding to a few trusted colleagues – communicating.
- They define the problem – writing
- They check their resources – evaluating
- They make a decision – leading.
You can judge leaders by the size of the problems they tackle.
Solve task-problems quickly; people-problems will take longer.
The right attitude.
Norman Vincent Peal said:
Positive thinking is how you think about a problem
Enthusiasm is how you feel about a problem.
The two together determine what you do about a problem.
Positive thinking does not always change our circumstances, but it will always change us. When we are able to think right about tough situations, then our journeys through life become better.
The right action plan.
THE PROBLEM-SOLVING PROCESS
- Identify the problem
- Prioritize the problem
- Define the problem
- Ask the right questions
- Talk to the right people
- Get the hard facts
- Get involved in the process
- Select people to help you in the problem-solving process: Ask questions:
- Is it a real problem?
- Is it urgent?
- Is the true nature of the problem known?
- Is it specific?
- Has the group most competent to discuss the problem been invited and is each participant concerned about solving this issue?
- Collect problem causes
- Collect problem solving solutions
- Prioritize and select the “best” solutions.
- Implement the best solutions
- Evaluate the solution.
- Set up principles or policies to keep problems from recurring.
- Policies change when their use is no longer essential
- To teach principles effectively:
a) Model them
b) Relate them by answering the question, “How can I use this in my life?” and
c) Applaud when I see the principles being applied in their lives.
- Approaches you find effective:
- Never allow others to think you always have the best answers. This will only make them dependent on you.
- Ask questions. Help people to think through the entire process of their problem.
- Become a coach, not a king. A coach brings out the best in others, helping them to reach deep down inside and discover their potential. A king only gives commands.
- List their solutions on paper. Integrate your ideas with theirs until they have ownership of them.
- Ask them to decide on the best solution to their problem.
- Develop a game plan
- Ask them to take ownership and responsibility for the game plan. Let them set up a time frame and accountability process.
Your goal should be that when the meeting is over the other person has processed the problem, selected a solution, developed a game plan, and taken ownership of it. His or her relationship with you will not be a dependent one, but a deepening one.
6. The Extra Plus in Leadership: Attitude
- Our attitude are our most important assets.
Our attitude determines what we see and how we handle our feeling. These two factors greatly determine our success. “Live is 10 percent what happens to me and 90 percent how I react to it.” “Leadership has less to do with position than it does disposition.”
- It is improbable that a person with a bad attitude can continuously be a success. “We cannot continue to function in a manner that we do not truly believe about ourselves.” “A Leader’s attitude is caught by his or her followers more quickly than his or her actions.”
Arnold Palmer’s framed plaque on the wall:
If you think you are beaten, you are.
If you think you dare not, you don’t
If you’d like to win but think you can’t
It’s almost certain you won’t
Life’s battles don’t always go
To the stronger or faster man,
But sooner or later, the man who wins
Is the man who thinks he can.
- We are responsible for our attitudes.
The pessimist complains about the wind.
The optimist expects it to change.
The leaders adjust the sails.
We cannot choose how many years we will live, but we can choose how much life those years will have.
We cannot control the beauty of our face, but we can control the expression on it.
We cannot control life’s difficult moments, but we can choose to make life less difficult.
We cannot control the negative atmosphere of the world, but we can control the atmosphere of our minds.
Too often, we try to choose and control things we cannot.
Too seldom, we choose to control what we can…our attitude.
- It’s not what happens to me that matters but what happens in me.
- The leader’s attitude helps determine the attitudes of the followers.
HOW TO CHANGE YOU ATTITUDE
- Review
The 6 states of Attitude Change
1. Identify problem feelings
2. Identify problem behavior
3. Identify problem thinking.
4. Identify right thinking
5. Make a public commitment for Right Thinking
6. Develop a Plan for Right Thinking
· Resolve
· Reframe
· Reenter
· Repeat
Say the right words
Read the right books
Listen to the right tapes
Be with the right people
Do the right things.
Pray the right prayer.
· Renewal
7. Developing Your Most Appreciable Asset: People
Guy Ferguson:
To know how to do a job is the accomplishment of labor;
To be available to tell others is the accomplishment of the teacher;
To inspire others to do better work is the accomplishment of management;
To be able to do all three is the accomplishment of true leaders.
The thesis: the more people you develop, the greater the extent of your dreams.
3 Levels of People/work skills:
Level 1: The person who works better with people is a follower.
Level 2: The person who helps people work better is a manager.
Level 3: The person who develops better people to work is a leader.
PRINCIPLES FOR PEOPLE DEVELOPMENT
My success in developing others will depend on how well I accomplish each of the following:
· Value of people. This is an issue of my attitude.
· Commitment to people. This is an issue of my time.
· Integrity with people. This is an issue of my character.
· Standard for people. This is an issue of my vision.
· Influence over people. This is an issue of my leadership
SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE DEVELOPERS…
- MAKE THE RIGHT ASSUMPTIONS ABOUT PEOPLE.
The one who influences others to lead is a leader without limitations.
People tend to become what the most important people in their lives think they will become.
- Everyone wants to feel worthwhile
People do not care how much you know until they know how much you care.
Failure is the opportunity to begin again more intelligently.
- Everyone needs and responds to encouragement.
People do what people see.
- People “buy into” the leader before they “buy into” his or her leadership.
- Most people do not know how to be successful.
- Most people are naturally motivated.
WHAT MOTIVATES PEOPLE?
- Significant contributions
- Goal participation
- Positive dissatisfaction
- Recognition
- Clear expectation
WHAT DE-MOTIVATES PEOPLE?
- Don’t belittle anyone
- Don’t manipulate anyone
- Don’t be insensitive
- Don’t discourage personal growth.
- ASK THE RIGHT QUESTIONS ABOUT PEOPLE
- Am I building people or am I building my dream and using people to do it? Corporate philosophy: People > Service> Profits.” There is a slight but significant difference between manipulation and motivation:- Manipulation is moving together for my advantage. > Motivation is moving together for mutual advantage.
- Do I care enough to confront people when it will make a difference?
The 10 Commandment of Confrontation:
1. Do it privately, not publicly.
2. Do it as soon as possible. That is more natural than waiting a long time.
3. Speak to one issue at a time. Don’t overload the person with a long list of issues.
4. Once you’ve made a point don’t keep repeating it.
5. Deal only with actions the person can change. If you ask the person to do something he or she is unable to do, frustration builds in your relationship.
6. Avoid sarcasm. Sarcasm signals that you are angry at people, not at their actions, and may cause them to resent you.
7. Avoid words like always and never. They usually detract from accuracy and make people defensive.
8. Present criticisms as suggestions or questions if possible.
9. Don’t apologize for the confrontational meeting. Doing so detracts from it and may indicate you are not sure you had the right to say what you did.
10.Don’t forget the compliments. Use what I call the “sandwich” in these types of meetings: Complement – Confront – Complement.
- Am I listening to people with more than my ears; am I hearing more than words/
Am I a Good Listener?
Give yourself four points if the answer to the following questions is Always; three points for Usually; two for Rarely; and one for Never..
________ Do I allow the speaker to finish without interrupting?
________ Do I listen “between the lines”; That is, for the subtext?
________ When writing a message, do I listen for and write down the key facts and phrases?
________ Do I repeat what the person just said to clarify the meaning?
________ Do I avoid getting hostile and /or agitated when I disagree with the speaker?
________ Do I tune out distractions when listening?
________ Do I make an effort to seem interested in what the other person is saying?
Scoring: 26 or higher – You are an excellent listener; 22-25 – Bette4r than average score.; 18 – 21: Room for improvement here; 17 or lower: Get out there right away and practice your listening.
- What are the major strengths of this individual?
- Have I placed a high priority on the job?
- Have I shown the value the person will receive from this relationship?
Considering all that you give to your relationship versus all that you’re getting from it, who is getting the better deal? Choose your answer from these three options:
1. I am getting a better deal. This can produce complacency and ingratitude.
2. The other person is getting a better deal. This can produce resentment.
3. We are getting an equally good deal. This usually produces mutual respect and motivation.
Analyze your answer by looking at the thee axioms of the Equity Factor ( Huseman and Hatfield’s Managing the Equity Factor):
1. People evaluate relationships by comparing what they give to a relationship with what they get from it.
2. When what people give does not equal what they get, they feel distress.
3. People who feel distress because they give more than they get will restore equity. This becomes a negative. Do you commit here?
- GIVE THE RIGHT ASSISTANCE TO PEOLE
· I need to work out their strengths and work on their weaknesses
· I must give them myself
· I must give them ownership.
Sidney J. Harris believes:
People want to be appreciated, not impressed.
They want to be regarded as human beings,
Not as sounding boards for other people’s egos.
They want to be treated as an end in themselves,
Not as a means toward the gratification of another’s vanity.
- I must give them every chance for success. My responsibility as a leader is to provide assistance for those who work with me by giving them:
- An excellent atmosphere to work in. It should be positive, warm, open, creative, and encouraging.
- The right tools to work with. Do not hire excellent people to do excellent work with average tools.
- A continual training program to work under. Growing employees make growing companies.
- Excellent people to work for. Develop a team. Coming together is the beginning. Working together is success.
- A compelling vision to work toward. Allow your people to work for something larger than themselves.
PEOPLE DEVELOPMENT PRINCIPLES
- People development takes time.
- People skills are essential for success. The center for Creative Leadership in Greenboro, North Carolina, studied 105 successful executives and discover the following:
1. They admitted their mistakes and accepted the consequences, rather than trying to blame others.
2. They were able to get along with a wide variety of people
3. They had strong interpersonal skills, sensitivity to others, and tact.
4. They were calm and confident, rather than moody and volatile.
Unsuccessful executives tend to be too tough, abusive, sarcastic, aloof, or unpredictable. Their worst fault was being insensitive to others.
- Be a model that others can follow.
Action Result
I do it I model
I do it and you are with me I mentor.
You do it and I am with you I monitor
You do it You move forward.
You do it and someone is with you We multiply.
- Lead others by looking through their eyes.
Questions to discover another person’s agenda:
- Background question: What is this person’s history with this organization or another?
- Temperament question. What is this person’s primary and secondary temperament?
- Security question. Is this, in any way, affecting the individual’s job?
- Relationship question. How is he or she related to me, or someone else, organizationally?
- Motive question. What is the real reason this is on his or her agenda?
- Potential question. Does this person or issue merit the leader’s time and energy?
I have discovered that the development of people is more successful when I:
Listen well enough to lead through their eyes;
Relate well enough to communicate with their hearts;
Work well enough to place tools in their hands;
Think well enough to challenge and expand their minds.
- Leaders must care for people before they can develop them.
- People developers look for opportunities to build up people.
J.C. Staehle, found the principal cause of workers’ unrest are actions leaders can avoid and listed in the order of importance:
1. Failure to give credit for suggestions
2. Failure to correct grievances.
3. Failure to encourage.
4. Criticizing employees in front of other people.
5. Failure to ask employees their opinions.
6. Failure to inform employees of their progress
7. Favoritism.
- The greatest potential for growth of a company is growth of its people.
Ralph Waldo Emerson: Trust men and they will be true to you; treat them greatly and they will show themselves great.”
An old Chinese poem a best advice of a good leader.
Go to the people,
Live among them
Learn from them.
Love them.
Start with what they know,
Build on what they have.
But of the vest leaders,
When their task is accomplished,
Their work is don,
Their people will remark,
“We have done it ourselves.”
8. The Indispensable Quality of Leadership: Vision
VISION STATEMENTS
Four Vision-Levels of People
1. Some people never see. (they are wanderers)
2. Some people see it but never pursue it on their own. (they are followers)
3. Some people see it and pursue it. (they are achievers)
4. Some people see it and pursue it and help others see it. (they are leaders.)
- You see what you are prepared to see.
All great leaders possess two things: one, they know where they are going and two, they are able to persuade others to follow.
Leaders can never take their people farther than they have traveled. Like leader, like people.
God’s gift to me is my potential. My gift back to God is what I do with that potential.
- What you see is what you get.
Moishe Rosen teaches a one-sentence mental exercise that’s an effective tool in dreaming. It is simply this: “If I had______________ I would__________. If you have anything you wanted – unlimited time, unlimited money, unlimited information, unlimited staff – all the resources you could ask for, what would you do? Your answer to that question is your dream. Make it worthwhile.
PERSONAL OWNERSHIP OF A VISION.
LOOK WITHIN YOU: What do you feel?
The difference of a person with a vision and a visionary person:
1. A person with a vision talks little but does much.
2. A visionary person does little but talks much.
3. A person with a vision finds strength from inner convictions.
4. A Visionary person finds strength from outward conditions.
5. A person with a vision continues when problems arise.
6. A visionary person quits when the road becomes difficult.
LOOK BEHIND YOU: What have you learned?
Experience taught these principles about vision:
1. The credibility of a vision is determined by the leader
2. The acceptance of a vision is determined by the timing of its presentation.
3. The value of a vision is determined by the energy and direction it gives
4. The evaluation of a vision is determined by the commitment level of people.
5. The success of a vision is determined by its ownership by both the leader and he people.
LOOK AROUND YOU: What is happening to others?
A good idea becomes great when the people are ready. The individual who is impatient with people will be defective in leadership. The evidence of strength lies not in streaking ahead, but in adopting your article to the slower pace of others while not forfeiting your lead. If we run too far ahead, we lose our power to influence.
LOOKING AHEAD OF YOU: What is The Big Picture?
Leaders are occupied with the organization’s basic purpose – why it exists and what it should achieve.
LOOKING ABOVE YOU: What does God expect of you?
Knowing God and his desires for me;
Growing to my maximum potential; and
Sowing seeds that benefit others.
LOOKING BESIDE YOU: What resources are available to you?
A vision should be greater than the person who has it. Its accomplishment must be the result of many people bringing many resources to the job.
CORPORATE OWNERSHIP OF A VISION
Successful leaders see on three levels:
Level 1: Perception: Seeing what is now with the eyes of reality
Level 2. Probability: Seeing what will be with the eyes of discernment.
Level 3. Possibility: Seeing what can be with the eyes of vision.
A futurist lives only on level 3. A forecaster lives only on level 2, A follower lives only on level 1. A leader, lives on Level 3, leads on Level 2, and listens on Level 1.
Understanding What Hinders a Vision – Level 1
- Limited Leaders
- Concrete Thinkers
- Dogmatic Talkers
- Continual Losers
- Satisfied sitters.
- Traditional Lovers.
- Census Takers
- Problem perceivers.
- Self-seekers.
- Failure forecasters.
Setting the Proper Environment – Level 2
- Come alongside of them.
- Paint the picture for them.
- Horizon
- Sun
- Mountains
- Birds
- Flowers
- Yourself
- Putting things they love in the picture.
Opening Eyes to Possibilities – Level 3. Qualities of WINNERS
- Winners are less sensitive to disapproval and rejection –they brush it off.
- Winners think “bottom line.”
- Winners focus on the task at had.
- Winners are not superstitious – they say, “that’s life.”
- Winners refuse to equate failure with self-worth.
- Winners don’t restrict thinking to established, rigid patterns
- Winners see the big picture.
- Winners welcome challenge with optimism
- Winners don’t waste time in unproductive thought.
The successful level 3 leader will see on three levels:
1. The Perceptible Level: What is now seen – the eyes of reality. A leader listens on this level.
2. The Probable Level: What will b seen – the eyes of discernment. A leader leads on this level.
3. The Possible Level: What can be seen – the eyes of vision. A leader lives on this level.
Ah, great it is to believe the dream,
As we stand in youth by the starry stream.
But a greater thing is to live life through,
And say at the end, the dream comes true.
Leaders do that for themselves and others.
9. The Price Tag of Leadership: Self-Discipline
Aristotle : “the ability to test desire by reason… to be resolute and every in readiness to end natural vent and pain.”
Edwin Markham’s Human worth:
We are blind until we see
That in the human plan
Nothing is worth the making
If it does not make the man.
Why build these cities glorious
If man unbuilded goes?
In vain we build the world
Unless the builder also grows.
THE PROCESS FOR DEVELOPING PERSONAL DISCIPLINE
- Start with you self. “We cannot travel without until we first travel within.” “When we are foolish we want to conquer the world. When we are wise we want to conquer ourselves.”
Your Competitor
An enemy I had, whose face I stoutly strove to know,
For hard he dogged my steps unseen, wherever I did go.
My plans he balked, my aims he foiled, he blocked my onward way.
When for some lofty goal I toiled, he grimly said to me, Nay.
One night I seized him and held him fast, from his the veil did draw,
I looked upon his face at last and lo…myself Isaw.
- Start early. Hard work is the accumulation of easy things you didn’t do when you should have.
- Start small. A Small Plan that will Make A Big Difference
- List five areas in your life that lack discipline.
- Place them in order of your priority for conquering them.
- Take them on, one at a time.
- Secure resources, such as books and tapes, that will give you instruction and motivation to conquer each area.
- Ask a person who models that trait you want to posses to hold you accountable for it.
- Spend fifteen minutes each morning getting focused in order to get control of this weak area in your life.
- Do a five-minute checkup on yourself at midday.
- Take five minutes in the evening to evaluate your progress.
- Allow sixty days to work on one area before you go to the next.
- Celebrate with the one who holds you accountable as you show continued success.
- Start now. “Great leaders never set themselves above their followers except in carrying out responsibilities.” “Success depends not merely on how well you do the things you enjoy, but how conscientiously you perform those duties you don’t.”
- Organize your life. Christopher Robin in Winnie the Pooh, “ Organizing is what you do before you do something, so that when you do it, it’s not all mixed up.”
10 TOP LIST FOR PERSONAL ORGANIZATION
- Set your priorities
- Place priorities in your calendar
- Allow a little time for the unexpected.
- Do projects one at a time.
- Itemize all that needs to be done
- Prioritize things in order of importance
- Organize each project in a folder
- Emphasize only one project at a time.
- Organize your work space
- Work according to your temperament
- Use your driving time for light work and growth.
- Develop systems that work for you
- Always have a plan for those minutes between meetings.
- Focus on results, not the activity.
Work where you are the strongest 80 percent of the time
Work where you are learning 15 percent of the time.
Work where you are weak 5 percent of the time.
Welcome responsibility
Winston Churchill : “The price of greatness is responsibility.”
STEPS TOWARD RESPONSIBILITY
- Be responsible for who you are.
- Be responsible for what you can co.
I am only one,
But still I am one.
I cannot do everything,
But still I can do something;
And because I cannot do everything
I will not refuse to do the
Something that I can do.
- Be responsible for what you have received.
- Be responsible to those you lead.
Accept accountability
Ploto: “The unexamined life is not worth living.” Success and power have often crowded out of the leader’s life a willingness to become accountable to others.
- Human nature cannot handle unchecked power.
- Leaders can easily be separated from their people.
- Develop integrity.
Integrity is demonstrated by the leader daily in the following ways
- I will live what I teach.
Character
I would be true, for there are those who trust me;
Pure, for there are those who care;
Strong, for there are those who suffer;
Brave, for there is much to dare.
Friend to all – the foe, the friendless;
Giving, and forget the gift;
Humble, for I know my weakness;
Look up, and laugh, and love , and lift.
- I will do what I say
- I will be honest with others
- I will put what is best for others ahead of what is best for me.
- I will be transparent and vulnerable.
- Pay now, play later.
- Become character driven instead of emotion driven.
Character Driven People Emotion Driven People
Do right, then feel good Feel good, then do right
Are commitment driven Are convenience driven
Make principle based decisions Make popular based decisions
Action controls attitude Attitude controls action
Believe it, then see it See it, then believe it
Create momentum Wait for momentum
Ask: “What are my responsibilities?” Ask: “What are my rights?”
Continue when problems arise Quit when problems arise
Are steady Are moody
Are leaders Are followers.
10. The Most Important Lesson of Leadership: Staff Development
“Those closest to the leader will determine the level of success for that leader.”
PICTURE OF A WINNING TEAM
- Winning team have great leaders.
Excellent leaders –
Create the right environment.
Excellent leaders –
Know basic human needs.
1. What is expected from each one
2. That each will have an opportunity to perform.
3. How each one is getting along.
4. That guidance will be given where each needs it.
5. That each will be rewarded according to his contribution.
Excellent leaders –
Keep control of the “Big 3”
1. Finance: because the finance staff is a prime means of exercising executive control in any organization.
2. Personnel: because the selection of people will determine the organization.
3. Planning: because area determines the future of the organization.
Excellent leaders –
Avoid the “seven deadly sins.”
1. Trying to be liked rather than respected.
2. Not asking team members for advise and help.
3. Thwarting personal talent by emphasizing rules rather than skills.
4. Not keeping criticism constructive.
5. Not developing a sense of responsibility in team members.
6. Treating everyone the same way.
7. Failing to keep people informed.
- Winning team pick good people.
Bobb Biehl: 60 to 80 percent of the success of any company or organization is attributable to three factors:
1. A clear direction
2. The right team of players
3. Sound finances
Who Not to Hire.”
1. who is accompanied by his or her (a) slave, (b) attorney with a tape recorder, (c) bodyguard, (d) teddy bear, (e) police escort, (f) mother.
2. who brags about being smarter than any three of the jerks he or she has worked for previously.
3. whose resume runs longer than forty pages.
4. whose resume is printed in crayon.
5. who talks more rapidly than the man in the Federal Express commercials.
6. who hisses at your questions.
7. who occasionally lapses into pig Latin.
8. who breaks into wracking sobs when asked to name a personal reference.
9. who is unable to decide hair and eye colors.
10. who is, by court order, on permanent intravenous sedation.
11. who tries to impress you with his or her repertoire of “knock knock” jokes.
12. who, under salary requirements, scrawls, “I want it all now!”
FIVE PRINCIPLES FOR PICKING PEOPLE ON YOUR TEAM
1. The smaller the organization, the more important the hiring.
2. Know what kind of person you need (Personal requirements).
- Positive attitude
- High Energy Level
- Personal Warmth
- Integrity
- Responsible
- Good Self-image
- Mental Horsepower
- Leadership Ability
- Followership Ability
- Absence of Personal Problems
- People Skills
- Sense of Humor
- Resilience
- Track Record
- Great Desire
- Self- discipline
- Creative
- Flexibility
- Sees “Big Picture”
- Intuitive
3. Know what the job requires.
10 general questions to help a leader pick the right person.
- An up-front or a behind-the-scenes person?
- A generalist or a specialist?
- A producer or a maintainer?
- A people person or a paper person?
- A leader of a supporter?
- A veteran or a rookie?
- A creative thinker or an abstract thinker?
- Constant supervision or little supervision?
- A team player or an individualist?
- Short-term commitment or long-term commitment?
Some guidelines to follow when looking for staff:
· Know what you need before you start looking for someone.
· Take time to search the field
· Call many references.
· Have several interviews.
· Include your close associates in some of the interviews and ask for their input.
· Interview the candidate’s spouses
· Check out the candidates’ track record
· If possible, have a trial run to see if the job and the potential staff match.
· Ask hard questions, such as, “Why did you leave?”; “What can you contribute?”; “Are you willing to pay the price?”
· Trust your instincts.
4. Know what the potential Staff Member wants.
People work harder, stay longer, and do better on the job when they like what they do. “Don’t come unless it feels right.”
5. When you cannot afford do hire the best, hire the young who are going to be the best.
Then:
Believe in them – that will encourage risk.
Show them – that will build respect.
Love them – that will strengthen relationships.
Know them – that will personalize development.
Teach them – that will enhance growth.
Trust them – that will develop loyalty.
Expand them – that will provide challenges.
Lift them – that will insure results.
- Winning team play to win.
There was a very cautious man
Who never laughed or played.
He never risked, he never tried,
He never sang or prayed.
And when he one day passed away,
His insurance was denied.
For since he never really lived,
They claimed he never died.
- Winning team make their team members more successful.
Vince Lombardi a great head coach” Start by teaching the fundamentals. A player’s got to know the basics of the game and how to play his position. Next, keep him in line. That’s discipline. The men have to play as a team, not as a bunch of individuals…Then you’ve got to care for one another. You’ve got to love each other…Most people call it team spirit.
SIGNIFICANT WAYS TO ENGAGE IN BETTER TEAM-BUILDING
1. Know the key to each player
2. Map out a Team Mission
3. Define the role of each player
4. Create a group identity.
5. Use liberal doses of “we” and “our”
6. Communicate with everyone.
- Winning teams keep improving. Whenever an organization is through improving, it’s through!
Holding reviews permits the manager or boss to remain in control of the process. The situation usually has these elements:
1. The person is not doing a top-notch job, but not a terrible one either; so you keep him or her around.
2. Finding someone else who can do the job means interviewing, hiring (taking risk), and then training the new person. You do not have time for that either.
3. The person definitely is not doing the job, but you like him or her (or more likely you feel sorry for him or her)
4. You don’t quite have all the documentation you need to fire this person. Your last review was too flowery and you have not really said how unhappy you are with the individual’s work.
Result? Nothing Happens. What too many leaders fail to realize is that:
1. The situation is well known to other workers in the organization. No one can keep below-par performance a secret.
2. Your failure to fire will have a detrimental effect on your career. As a leader, your first and greatest responsibility is to the organization and its highest good. Whenever a person’s leadership position puts the personal agenda of himself or herself ahead of the organization, that leader is liability.
3. The morale of the other employees suffers because you keep the below-par performer on the payroll while everyone else is pulling more than enough weight.
The optimum scenario is to interview well, hire well, and then begin to develop your staff to reach their –and your –greatest potential. Three phases of potential:
1. I maximize my potential (I pour my energy into myself)
2. I maximize the potential of others ( I pour my energy into key people)
3. They maximize my potential (they pour their energy into me)
Producers excel only at phase 1
Leaders excel at phase 2
Fortunate leaders excel at phase 1 and 2 and experience phase 3
Common Strength Outstanding Leaders Share
Consider your strength as a leader. Circle the number that corresponds with how you see your ability,
1, Mastered 2, Strong 3, Satisfactory 4, Need growth 5, Difficult
DREAMING 1 2 3 4 5
Never let go of a dream until you’re ready to wake up and make it happen.
In working with leaders, I have often asked myself, “Does the man make the dream, or does the dream make the man? My conclusion: both are equally true.
GOAL-SETTING 1 2 3 4 5
A goal is a dream with a deadline.
If you don’t know what you want and where you are going, you will get next to nothing and end up nowhere.
INFLUENCING 1 2 3 4 5
The very essence of all power to influence lies in getting the other person to participate.
People do not care how much you know until they know how much you care.
PERSONAL ORGANIZATION 1 2 3 4 5
“ Organizing is what you do before you do something, so that when youy do it, it’s not all mixed up.” – Christopher Robin in Winnie the Pooh
PRIORITIZING 1 2 3 4 5
“He is a wise man who waste no energy on pursuits for which he is not fitted; and he is wiser still who, form among the things he can do well, choose and resolutely follows the best.” – William Gladstone
PROBLEM-SOLVING 1 2 3 4 5
“The majority see the obstacle; the few see the objectives; history records the success of the latter, while oblivion is the reward of the former” – Alfred Armand Montapert
RISK-TAKING 1 2 3 4 5
Risk are not to be evaluated in terms of the probability of success, but in terms of the value of the goal.
DECISION-MAKING 1 2 3 4 5
Your decisions will always be better if you do what is right for the organization rather than what is right for yourself.
CREATIVITY 1 2 3 4 5
There is always a better way… your challenge is to find it. “Man’s mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions.” – Oliver Wendell Holmes
HIRING/FIRING 1 2 3 4 5
‘There are only three rules of sound administration: pick good [people], tell them not to cut corners, and back them to the limit. Picking good [people] is the most important.” –Adlai E Stevenson
“When you appropriately fire a person from a position in which he is failing, you are actually releasing him from that failure – and freeing him to seek a position in which he can find success.” – Bobb Biehl
EVALUATION 1 2 3 4 5
People who reach their potential spend more time asking, “What am I doing well?” rather than “What am I doing wrong?”
The person who knows how will always have a job; but the person who knows why will always be the boss..
If you are strong in or if you have mastered four areas you are on Level 1. If you are strong in or if you have mastered eight you are on Level 2. If you are strong in or if you have mastered every area you are on Level 3, and that means you have a strong support team that has allowed you to grow beyond your self..
Epilogue
This world needs leaders. . . .
The growth and development of people is the highest calling of leadership.
Who use their influence at the right times for the right reasons;
Who take a little greater share of the blame and a little smaller share of the credit;
Who lead themselves successfully before attempting to lead others;
Who continue to search for the best answer, not the familiar one;
Those closest to the leader will determine the level of success for their leader.
Who add value to the people and organization they lead.
Who work for the benefit of others and not for personal gain;
Who handle themselves with their heads and handle others with their hearts;
Few people are successful unless a lot of them want to be.
Who know the way, go the way, and show the way;
Who inspire and motivate rather than intimidate and manipulate;
The difference between playing to win and playing not to lose is the difference between success and mediocrity.
Who live with people to know their problems and live with God in order to solve them;
Who realize that their dispositions are more important than their positions;
Who mold opinions instead of following opinion polls;
Who understand that an institution is the reflection of their character;
Who never place themselves above other except in carrying responsibilities;
Continued success is a result of continued improvement.
Who will be as honest in small things as in great things;
Who discipline themselves so they will not be disciplined by others;
Who encounter setbacks and turn them into comebacks;
Who follow a moral compass that points in the right direction regardless of the trends.
